ተያያዥ ድህረገፆች

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EDUMAN

Before we begin:

ለራስ-እድገትዎ የጀርባ አጥንት ሆኖ የሚያገለግለውን ወሳኝ ግብአት ላስተዋውቃችሁ -

ንጉሴ &ትርሲት(N&T) የእውቀት ጥንቅር።

ይህ በተለያዩ ዘርፎች ውስጥ በተመረጡ ምንጮች የተቀነባበረ ወሳኝ ግንዛቤዎችን ጥልቅ ምረዳቶችን ከብዙ የተመረጡ ግበአቶች ያሰበሰበ ነው፣ ይህም አንድ ሰው ለመማር ሊመርጥ በሚችለው በማንኛውም የጥናት መስክ ላይ ጠንካራ መሰረት ይፈጥራል። በደንብ ከተመረመሩ የእውቀት ምንጮች ዝነባሌዎ ወይም አቅጣጫዎ ምንም ይሁን ምን ማስተዋልዎን ያለማቋረጥ ማስፋት ይችላሉ።
የN&T የእውቀት ዳታቤዝ ልዩ ጥንቅር በመያዙ እና በተጠና መንገድ አቀናብሮ በማቅረብ የተለየ ያደርገዋል። ይህም የላቀ ደረጃ ላይ ለመድረስ እጅግ በጣም ጠቃሚ የሆነ መማሪያ ያደረገዋል፣ ፍላጎትዎ በሚስቦት ማራኪ ዘርፎች እድገትን ያግኙ: -

Health & Wellness: 730 essential pages curated from over 15 health resources.

Finance: 535 distilled pages from 9 financial sources.

History: Over 1500 impactful pages sifted from 13 selected books, several videos and online contents.

Relationships: 480 optimized pages derived from reviewing 12 books and extensive videos/articles.
Natural Science & Math: Featuring over 500 condensed pages gleaned from examinations of 21 authoritative references across multiple disciplines.
Philosophy, Politics & Law: Condensed over 9 premier sources into 850 pages of the most insightful content
Psychology: Delivering over 1600 curated pages distilling core models and actionable knowledge after careful vetting of premier academic sources and empirical findings. It involve 23 books countless videos and global knowledge sources.
Corporate Excellence/ Business Intelligence: Providing 1700 insights optimized from analysis of 34 pivotal business books and many more internet sources alongside pertinent case studies, to nurture a culture of high performance.

Spiritual Wisdom Compendium: contains more than 360 pages of condensed material drawn from 5 foundational texts as well as video and more additional sources.

እንደ ተጨማሪ እሴት፣ ለአማርኛ እና ለእንግሊዘኛ ሁለገብ ግብአቶች የያዘ የቋንቋ ዕውቀት በእርስዎ ስምምነት መሰረት ይካተታል። በተጨማሪም፣ አጠር ያለ የአውሮፓ ሙዚቃ ጥናትም አካቷል። እንዲሁም እራስን ለመገምገም እና ለማወቅ የሚውል ደብተር ይኖርዎታል። ለአንዳንድ ሰዎች ይህ ትልቅ ራስን መለኪያ እና ማሻሻያ በመሆን ለውሳኔ ይረዳቸዋል።
ይህን ፕሪሚየም የእውቀት ክፍሎች የመጀመሪያ ምርጫዎን በነፃ መውሰድ ይችላሉ።

As you embark on an unrelenting journey to unlock your fullest potential intellectually and professionally, the N&T database's unparalleled repository of knowledge will be an indispensable wellspring. This will be foundational for your area of expertise all condensed in one place; for your aspired excellence and bright future in it.
ችሎታዎን እና እውቀትዎን ለማሳደግ የተወሰነ ጥረት በቀጣይነት በማድረግ ራስዎን ያሳድጉ።

በ 09-21-63-01-83 ስምዎትን አስተዋውቀው ፍላጎትን ከላይ ከተዘረዘረው ከፍሎች ውስጥ መርጠው በTELEGRAM ይላኩ። በነፃ ወይም ከትንሽ ወጪ እልፍ ይገበያሉ። ይህ ለተወሰነ ጊዜ የሚቆይ አቅርቦት ስለሆነ እንዳይዘናጉ።
በመጨረሻ ራስን ማስተዳደር እና የህልውና ጥበብ በሚል የተዘጋጀ ከእውነተኛ ተሞክሮዎች እንዲሁም ከ N&T የእውቀት መሰረት ወደኑሮ በቀጥታ የሚተገብሩ አቅጣጫዎችን የያዘ ጥቅል እንድትጠቀሙ ያስችልዎታል። ከዚህ ቡኃላ ልዩ ልዩ የኑሮዎ ገጽታዎችን በጥበብ በመያዝ ከቁጭት ነፃ ሆነው በሙሉ መተማመን የተሻለ ነገን ማየት ይችላሉ። ይህንንም ምርጥ የድርጊት አቅጣጫዎች ለመውሰድ ፍላጎት ካልዎት ያስውቁን።
ይህም በእርግጠኝነት ህይወትዎን ለመለወጥ መመሪያ ይሆናል።
Note: We would like to attribute each offer by name, so we need your Full name in a text message.

NOW BACK TO THE MAIN TOPIC OF THE WEBSITE

መግቢያ

ይህ ድህረገፅ እና (ተያያዥ ድህረገፆች) በመሰረቱ ለተማሪዎች አገልግሎት እንጂ ለጥቅም አለመሆኑን ላሳስብ እፈልጋለሁ፡፡

ይህ ፅሁፍ ከተለያዩ ምንጮች የተወስደ ጥንቅር (compilation) ነው፡፡ በዋነኝነት የተወሰደበትን መፀሃፎች ካገኘህ አንድትገዛቸው እና ድህረገፆች እንድትጎበኛቸው እመክራለሀ፡፡ እነዚህን በፅሁፉ መሃል እና መጨረሻ ላይ የምጠቅሳቸው ይሆናል፡፡ ወደነዚህ ምንጮች ከመሄድህ በፊት ግን ይህን ፅሁፍ እንድትጨርስ እመክራለሁ፡፡ ይህን ፀሁፍ እንደአነስተኛ መፀሃፍ ልትወስደው ትችላለህ፡፡ ይህም ዋና ዋና ማወቅ ያለብህን ፍሬ ሀሳቦችን ከመያዙም ባለፈ የየእለት ህይወትህን የምትገመግምበት መሳሪያ በሰንጠረዥ መልክ ይዙዋል፡፡

Although every thing discussed in this blog is very important, I will annotate the ones that you should not forget with yellow highlighter like this.

መጀመሪያ ፅሁፉን አንብበህ ሙሉ መረዳት ከያዝክ ቡሃላ ሰንጠረዥን (meta-awareness table) ለመጠቀም ብቁ ትሆናለህ፡፡ Consider this as a mini book. Finish the book before referring the links I mentioned throughout the article.

THE ONLY THING YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO FOR SOMETIME FROM NOW ON IS TAKING THIIS BLOGS SERIOUSLY AND TAKING TIME AND SOME LEVEL OF EFFORT TO INTERNALIZE IT TO YOUR LIFE VERY WELL, THEN WTNESS THE CHANGE AND THE GREATNESS...BUT WITHOUT GIVNG A LITTLE BIT OF DEDICATION UNTIL YOU FULLY INTERNALIZE AND ADOPT IT, FORGET REAL CHANGE AND RESULT.

PLEASE DONT GET DISCOURAGED BY SOME OF THE ENGLISH CONSIDER IT AS AN ADDITION TO YOUR VOCUABULARY, AND GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS BLOG. በፅሁፉ ላይ የምታገኛቸው የእነግሊዘኛ ቃላት አዲስ ከሆኑብህ እና ለመረዳት ቢከብድህ እንኳ ከመዝገበ ቃላት በመረዳት ፅሁፉን እንድትጨርሰው አበረታሃለሁ ፡፡

በመጨረሻም ይህን ደህረገፅ ለሌሎች በማሳወቅ የበኩልህን አስተዋፆ እንድታደርግ እጠይቃለሁ፡፡

Note that although this blog is focused on the bad habit of internet porn, it can help you to change any type of bad habit.

I used different font and formatting. Don’t count it as negligence. It will ACTUALLY help your mind not to drift away wandering as you go through the text. I leave it the way it is, because what is important is your understanding not presentation.

On the Self-awareness Table - shortened words

Common words used:

Fap or fapping = Masturbation

PMO = Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm

Relapse = getting back to porn after a period of recovery

Rebooting is our term for taking a time out to recovery from porn ‘addiction’.

Cum = ejaculate sperm

Primitive region of the brain =is a name for the part of the brain which govern emotions, drives, impulses and subconscious decision-making

Fetish = sexual tastes

binge = a period of excessive indulgence (involvement) in an activity, in this case porn watching

Aphrodisiac = Sexual stimulating (for example foods)

act out = giving in to porn watching and masturbating in times of temptation

Slip = a little bit of giving in to softcore sexy pictures but not a full binge

You can find the table in word format in Facebook group called Eduman. Here is the link:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/179702533879875

NOTE: You may need to log in to access the contents.

Copy the link and paste it on your browser. and download and print it. you can clench it with stapler and fold it to fit your pocket. That way you can use it any time.

Incase you miss it to carry it, i will make the table available in the middle of this blog.

Don't forget to follow the group for any new editions or updates of blogs that will help you.

Abbreviation Used in the self awareness table

PO = Porn

Avg = Average

X = Sex; Xual = sexual; Xuality= sexuality

MB = masturbate

DIRECTION TO USE THE TABLE

Each 5 Space is used one at a time.

The gray area is something that can be changed or overwritten. For example -the benchmarks can be changed only if we found and add new measures and give them new points so the benchmark will need some adjustment.

Note: Unless very notable I prefer if you don’t add new measures for the sake of just adding supplementary.

If you think it is best to edit the table by yourself, send me your request in the email, I will send you the word file.

Use pencil to do your editing on paper to reuse it more often.

እንደመነሻ የሰንጠረዥ ደንብ በፌስቡክ ላይ ይገኛል

Let us start by sharing you this real story:

Years ago, in the western world almost everyone smoked including movie stars on screen. People loved puffing. It calmed the nerves, offered a predictable buzz and looked sophisticated. How could such activity really be detrimental? Was nicotine truly addictive?

When tar showed up in cadaver lungs incredulous smokers preferred to blame asphalt. Meanwhile, other kinds of evidence mounted that smoking was causing health problems and that people had great difficulty quitting: correlation studies, anecdotal reports from physicians and patients, etc. Prospective studies, which compare a group of similar subjects whose smoking habits differ, took decades.

During this time, studies fostered by the tobacco industry found no evidence of harm or addiction. Predictably, every time new evidence of harm appeared, the industry trotted out its ‘studies’ to create the impression that the authorities were in conflict – and that it was far too soon to quit smoking. For example, the head of the Tobacco Industry Research Committee said, ‘If smoke in the lungs was a sure-fire cause of cancer we’d all have it. We’d all have had it long ago. The cause is much more complicated than that’. He also dismissed statistical connections as not proving ‘causation’.

“no scientific evidence” argument is not a sound argument where there has not been much in-depth study. Keep in mind that the tobacco companies long used the “no scientific evidence” argument to defend against the overwhelming circumstantial evidence that cigarettes were lethal. In fact, they hired doctors to do commercials.

Meanwhile, much unnecessary damage had been done. Critically important health information, which should have taken a few years to become common knowledge, instead took decades – while fabricated uncertainty protected tobacco profits. Whenever something becomes the norm, there’s an unexamined assumption that it must be harmless or ‘normal’.

It’s hard to imagine that a whole generation chain-smoked cigarettes without having any idea how harmful they are, but the same thing is happening today with online pornography.

And, just as with smoking, causality studies cannot be done. It would be unethical to create two groups of kids and keep one group as ‘porn virgins’ while setting the other group free on today’s internet porn for years to see what percentage lose attraction to real partners, can’t quit, or develop porn-induced sexual dysfunctions and extreme fetish tastes.

Douglas Adams wrote:

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

This is the time you need to fight this disinclination.

Psychologist Richard David noted “Research from neuroscience leads us to understand that there are two fundamentally different kinds of learning. One form of learning we call “declarative learning,” which is learning about things. I can learn the value of kindness by sitting down and studying texts about kindness, but this won’t necessarily lead us to become kinder. We can teach people the value of honesty, but this will not necessarily make them an honest person. In order to cultivate this qualities we need a second form of learning, and that is called “procedural learning.” Neuroscience teaches us that these kinds of learning operate through totally different brain circuits. We need both to produce real transformation.’’

By first reading this text fully and then using the table of Meta awareness in our daily life we can take advantage of both kinds of learning.

To back up our practice with real science I will also add what Richard added “The wiring in our brain is not fixed, is adaptable. And we can harness the power of neuroplasticity to change our brain. Let me give you one example. An example from research that we did, where we randomized people to a group that received compassion training for two weeks, another group that received training from cognitive therapy. We put people in the MRI scanner before and after the two weeks of training, and law and behold we see systematic differences after just seven hours of practice. Our brains can change in a remarkably rapid period of time. The changes that are displayed are changes in a circuit that involve the prefrontal cortex …which gets strengthened after just this short amount of practice. So this and other kinds of data indicate that the brain really can change…and with systematic practice they will endure.”

The big secret about Porn: What is porn?

You should be careful not to identify porn as addiction as most sources suggest. If you call it addiction, the mind will find a rationalization for its habitual ‘relief’.

In fact, the idea of addiction deals with not only the intensity of usage but also in the nature of substance you consume: weather it is foreign and damaging to the body system or inherent.

Porn can be considered as having a low potential for physical addiction, although psychological dependence can occur with regular use.

Porn is actually a conditioning NOT an addiction.

TAKE NOTE: PORN ALTHOUGH TECHNICALLY A SEXUALLY APPEALING TRIGGERS, FOR THE CONDITIONED MIND, IT IS THE IDLE TIME ON THE WEB LOOKING FOR SOMETHING INTERESTING. SO ALL THE ADVISES AND INSTRUCIONS GIVEN HERE FOR PORN IS NOT REALLY FOR EDGING ON SEXUAL EXPLICIT SCENE BUT FOR ANY IDLLENESS ON THE INTERNET OR INFRONT OF THE SCREEN ALONE SEARCHIING FOR SOMETHING INTERESTING; WHICH YOU MUST CONSDER AS PORN.

Putting it in straight forward words, the things that are driving you to watch porn is nothing more than your aimless wondering free time on internet access, boredom and lonely-ness and your horney-ness, that is it, not addiction. you want to spend your time passing with something interesting and overdriving your mental stimulus. when you start spending your time in a meaningful way, you will feel accomplished in your days and you will know you will not have time to regret looking in the past.

Porn means excessive compulsive indulgence. The physiological and emotional self is in complete surrender to your porn. The soulish mind is always porn-taken.

I advice you, when you get to the internet for any reason, to open this blog as a tap and scan or glide through it once in a while as you need it just to get your rational mind alert. it is just a bad habit you developed.

Porn is not something you watch like a movie. PORN IS SOMETHING YOU SEARCH. It is something you crave to get whether it is from internet or some other sources you find available.

So the conclusion is: PORN IS SEARCHING TO FIND ERROTIC SCENES OR STIMULATION.

So you can say porn is: Enticement, Novelty and Speed: Enticement in a sense that increases your hunger for things you don't have now. It means to attract artfully or skillfully or by arousing hope or desire.

Porn thrives in the immediacy and secrecy of the mind. THE SNEAKY mentality feeds porn and impulsiveness cycle.

FOR THINGS YOU EXPECT TO FIND: SOMETHNG MORE INTERESTING, MORE EXCITING, MORE ATRACTIVE, MORE PLEASURABLE RESULTS - IT THE ENTICIMENT EFFECT OF PORNOGRAPHY.

PORN IS A TRIGGER; NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS. THAT IS THE REASON YOU DON'T HAVE THE SATISFACTION OR GRATIFICATION OF SEX OUT OF PORN. IT IS LIKE A VACUUM THAT SUCKS EVERYTHING OUT OF YOU AND FINISH YOU WITH NOTHING. THAT IS WHY YOU FEEL LOST OR DISORIENTED AFTER YOUR PORN AND MASTURPATION EXPERIENCE.

PORN IS A PROCESS. WHAT THAT MEANS IS, IT IS THE SLOW ENTICING OR COOKING PROCESS THAT MAKES YOU THINK "IT IS OKAY TO TAKE A GLANCE OF AN IMAGE OR VIDEO HERE AND THERE NOTHING TOO MUCH INTO IT" NOT KNOWING THAT PORN IS THE LONG PROCESS THAT MAKES YOU TO WALK IN THE PATH OF THE TRIGGER STARTING FROM SOFTCORE SEEMINGLY HARMLESS PICTURES OR AIMLESS BROWSING THE INTERNET OR ANY SCREEN TIME UNTIL YOU FIND SOME NICE PICTURES OF HOT GIRL THAT MAY NOT EVEN BE A PORNSTAR. KNOW THAT WHEN YOUR MIND IS GOING THROUGH THE RAT HOLE, THE PORN HAS ALREADY BEGIN. STOP THINKING THAT PORN IS THAT LAST HARDCORE STUFF YOU FALL INTO. AGAIN, I WOULD LIKE TO STRESS THAT PORN IS THE TRAINED MIND THAT IS SENSITIVE TO LONG WAY PROCESS OF REACHING SLOWLY BUT SURELY TO THE HARDCODE CONTENT.

THINK OF THE AMHARIC SAYING THAT GOES WATER TAKES THROUGH LAUGHTER? DO YOU GET IT? PORN IS LIKE THAT WATER. YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE IT WHEN YOU ARE IN IT EXCEPT WHEN IT IS TOO LATE THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN THINK CLEARLY BUT JUST GIVE IN TO HARDCORE CONTENT.

PORN IS A DRIVE - a slow enticement overload.

SO THE MOMENT YOU SEARCH ANYTHING PORN RELATED EVEN SOFTCORE STUFF YOU ARE FALLING UNDER PORN.

THE MOMENT YOU TAKE A STEP TOWARDS ANYTHNG CLOSE TO PORN YOU ARE NOT CUTTING PORN FROM YOUR LIFE. PORN IS THE FIRST STEP, NOT THE LAST STEP OF WATCHING. PORN IS NOTHING BUT A HOOK, A HOOK OF THE MIND.

Dr. Doidge explains, and adds on this, that porn is more exciting than satisfying because we have two separate pleasure systems in our brains: one for exciting pleasure and another for satisfying pleasure. Pornography, Doidge writes, hyperactivates the appetite system.

In fact, You can be in Social Media browsing until some sexual triggering content finds you, you can be in publicly available video sites like YouTube, just surfing and just checking videos that have any sexual appeal to you although not sexually categorized content, maybe some beautiful girls...then you find yourself tired and sleepy and feeling comfortable maybe you wake up from a quick nap from the sofa and your access will get you directly to porn content. and you wonder how you get to this porn content... Porn is the trigger.
When you start to aimlessly surf social media until some sexual trigger finds you, Porn already started the work in you. Porn is the aimless mind that is, inherently, looking/surfing for stimulation.

Porn can simply be the uncontrolled/unmanaged time on the internet. if you are having difficulty managing your time in the expanse of the internet and its speedy access, you are in porn.

It is desire control our senses. Desires can do anything to you as you say 'yes sir' to it all the time. Your Brain Does not Work when Feelings Are There.

Some one who used to be in porn said: "watching Porn is watching stupidity, for all are unaware of themselves and You are unaware of Time. it is just a fantasy realm of the subconscious." Honestly, YOU SHOULD NOT WATCH PORN BECASE THEY DON'T DESERVE TO BE SEARCHED AND WATCHED.

Search of the people that use to watch porn and publicly give testimonial whether in video or in blogs of how bad the experience was and how much they have wasted their time and energy and how it was all fantasy chasing. And you see it took them 5 years, 10 years and beyond. Ask yourself, "Do i really want to be next having complaint and pain about my past?"

Porn is two things:

1.Your time

2. Your engagement: -meaning the emotional attachment that tells you, you have to see porn to get the explosion of maximum sexual experience

PORN WAS SIMPLY A CLAIM ON YOUR TIME BY HIJACKING THE APETITIE SYSTEM OF YOUR BRAIN, FEEDING ON BOOREDOM. You can see it was just game played of your brain. It was a claim of your time, the exact time you are triggered and feel comfortable to give in.

One big reason to not watch porn is to keep a healthy rhythm of your sexual mojo. It gives you an energetic vibe and charm that is a fuel of communication and motivation sometimes gives you a happy-state of mentality. if you are taking your chance to watch porn related content, you will at some point fab and loose it.

Below we will be discussing 'The big secret about Stopping Porn'

Intro Words

አንዳንዴ የወሲብ ፊልም መነሳሳት፣ ከመጨነቅ፣ ከመወጣጠር እና እረፍት ከማጣት ጋር ተያይዞ የሚመጣ ነው፡፡

መጨቃጨቅ፣ ከጓደኛ መለየት እነዚህ ሁኔታዎች ከብቸኝነት ጋር ተደርበው ሲመጡ በቀላሉ ከችግሮቹ ለማምለጥ ወደለመድነው (ወደጀመርነው) የወሲብ ፊልም እና ሴጋ ልምምድ እንገባለን

የወሲብ ፊልም ልምምድ መጋለጥ፣ መንስኤዎቹ ተመጋጋቢ እና ተያያዥ ናቸው፡ በዋነኛነት ድብርት እና ብቸኝነት ለዚህ ልምምድ ምቹ ሁኔታ ቢፈጥሩም ሌሎች ቀስቃሽ ሁኔታዎች ከበስተጀርባ ይሰራሉ፡፡ይህን በሰፊ እንይ

የሰውን ልጅ ለሁለት ከፍለን እንመልከት፡፡ እነዚህም ውጫዊና ውስጣ የህይወት ገጽታ ብለን እንሰይማቸው፡ ሁለቱ ተመጋጋቢ ናቸው፡፡

ለወሲብ ስሜት የሚያነሳሱ ውጫዊ እና ውስጣዊ የህይወት ልምምዶች ሲኖሩ በሁለቱም መደብ ደግሞ ለወሲብ ድርጊት ምቹ ሁኔታ የሚፈጥሩ የህይወት ልምምዶች አሉ፡፡

A1: ውጫዊ ወሲብ ቀስቃሽ ልምምዶች
1.      ወሲብ ቀስቃሽ የቴሌቪዥን ፕሮግራም (ፊልሞች፣ ማስታወቂያዎች፣ ዘፈን...)
2.      ወሲብ ቀስቃሽ ልብወለድ ማንበብ
3.      በአየናቸውና በአነበብናቸው ላይ በማውራት ጊዜ ማሳለፍ
A2: ውጫዊ ለወሲብ ድርጊቶች ምቹ ሁኔታ የሚፈጠሩ ልምምዶች
1.      የሚያበሳጩህ ወይም የማይመቹ ጓደኞች ጋር አብዝቶ ጊዜ ማሳለፍ የጓደኝነት ግጭት
2.      ለብቻ ብዙ ጊዜ በማሳለፍ ከሰዎች ጋር አለመነጋገር ፤ ራስን መነጠል
3.      በትርፍ ጊዜ ድብርት
4.      መጣላት፣ መዋሸት፣ ሚስጥራዊ መሆን (Secretiveness)
5.      ቀንህ ላይ እንደጎደለክ ወይም የጥፋተኝነት ስሜት (Guilty feeling)
6.      በቂ የእረፍት እና የእንቅስቃሴ በቀን አለማድረግ
7.      ቁሳውነት (በተላይ በቴክኖሎጂ ጋጀቶች ላይ ትኩረት እና ጊዜ ማጥፋት
8.      በትምህርት (ወይም በስራ) ለረጅም ጊዜ ተወጥሮ የማሳለፍ ልምድ ስራ ወይም ጥናት በማብዛት መጨናነቅ፣ የሀሳብ መበታተን (Esp. multitasking)
9.      ኢንተርኔትን ለብቻ ተተክሎ ለአዲስ ነገር እና ጊዜ ማሳለፊያ ማሰስ (Surfing)
10. የአልኮል ሀንጎቨር
11. ወሲብ ቀስቃሽ ምግቦች እና መጠጦችን ማዘውተር (Aphrodisiacs ኦቾሎኒ፣ ቃሪያ ን ሚያቃጥሉ ዘሮች፣ ቸኮሎኒ.፣ ወይን ፣ fast foods)
A.3. ውስጣዊ ወሲብ ቀስቃሽ ልምምዶች ስንል በአየናቸው የወሲብ የሚያነሳሱ ፊልሞች ወይም በአነበብናቸው ታሪኮች ደጋግሞ ማስታወስ ፤ ደጋግሞ ማብሰልሰል (በሀሳብ መዋለል)
በሆነ የምቾት ህይወት (Comfort Zone) ውስጥ ሆኖ ስለነገ ሳያስቡ መኖር
አብዝቶ ስለ ፍቅር ህይወት በሀሳብ መመሰጥ (Imagination) እነዚህ ሀሳቦች በመጀመሪያ ጤናማ ቢሆኑም ቀስ በቀስ ወደ sex እና ፓርን ሀሳቦች ይቀየሩ እና ስሜትህን (እሳት ላይ እንደተጣደ ወተት) ያገነፍሉታል፡፡
A.4. ለወሲብ ፊልም ድርጊት ምቹ ሁኔታ የሚፈጥሩ ውስጣዊ ልምምዶች
1.        ወደ ድብርት የሚወስዱ የእንቅልፍ ማጣት እና ድካም
2.        ድብርት እና የብቸኝነት ስሜት
3.        ያልተረጋጋ ስሜት
4.        ውድቀት (failure)፣ የቅናት ልቦና (Jealously) በህይወት ተስፋ መቁረጥ (despair) ወይም ተስፋ ማጣት፣ ንዴት፣ በራሳችን ማዘን (self pity, being sentimental)፣ ተቀባይነት የማጣት ስሜት ሲበዛ (Rejection) ብሎም ራስን ለመካስ ለመፍታታት ሀሳብ ስናስብ ከልክ ያለፈ ደስታን ጨምሮ ሀይለኛ ስሜቶች (ሲበዛ)
5.        በሰዎች የመገፋት ፍርሀት መዳበር (Fear of rejection) ልክ ያለ መሆን ህሊና እና ያልተረጋጋ ስሜት (Guilty mentality and worrying mind)
እነዚህ በአራት ከፍለን ያየናቸው የህይወት ልምዶች ተያይዘው የሚመጡበት ወቅት አለ አይምሮአችን፡-
·         በፖርን ትንሽ እንኳ ፈታ በል”
·         ምን ያህል መጥፎ ይሆናል ሁሉም ሰው እያየ ነው የሚኖረው ምንድነው አንተ? ዝም ብለህ ፈታ በል”
·         ከፖርን ርቀህ ቆይተሀል፣ ራስህን ትንሽ አፍታታ፣ ቢያንስ ያለ ሴጋ ትንሽ ፖርን ተመልከት… በቃ ፎቶዎች ብቻ ሌላው ይቅርና ይሄ የመጨረሻ ነው፣ ሌላ አላይም አንድ ቪዲዮ ብቻ አይጎዳኝም፡፡”
·         በዚህ ወር 3 ወይም 4 ጊዜ ፖርን አይቻለሁ አሁንም ልይና ከሚቀጥለው ወር (ወይም ሳምንት) ጀምሮ ሙሉ ለሙሉ አቆማለሁ”
የመሳሰሉት አይነት ማባባያ መልእክቶች ያወራሀል፡፡ እነዚህ ሀሳቦች ሲመላለሱብህ በስሜት የተመሩ ስለሆነ ምንም አይነት እውነትነት ወይም የውሳኔ ሀሳብ የለባቸውም፡፡ ጊዜውን ብቻ በፓርን እንድታሳልፍ የሚነሱ ሀሳቦች ብቻ ናቸው፡፡ (You can call them teaser ads of your mind) They are also called “camouflaged craving”-- craving which is masked by rationalization) ዋናው “ለመጨረሻ ጊዜ አንድ ፓርን ብቻ ልይና አቆማለሁ” ነው እነዚህ መልእክቶች እና ጥያቄዎች የተጠመደው አይምሮን የሚፈልገውን ነገር ለማግኘት የሚያደርገው ድርድር ነው፡፡
ሀሳቡን ስትቀበል ግን ይሄ የመጨረሻ አይሆንም፡፡ ሌላ ቀን በዚህ መንገድ አይምሮህ (የስሜት ሀይሉን ሰብስቦ) ደጋግሞ ይመጣል ቀድሞ እንዳየነው ዑደት (Cycle) ነው፡፡
“ለመጨረሻ ጊዜ አንዴ ብቻ የሚለው ድለላ ትልቅ የሀሳብ ጉልበት ይሰጠዋል፡፡ የአንድ ቀን ታሪክ መስሎ ይለፍ እንጂ የዑደቱ (Cycle) ማጠናከሪያ ሂደት ነው፡፡
1.1.            ከላይ ካየናቸው አራት መደቦች (A1, A2, A3,A4) ውስጥ የራስህን ህይወት ለመገምገም ሞክር፡፡ የየእለት ህይወትህን ልምድ (ከጠዋት እስከማታ ያለውን) አስቀምጥ፡፡ JOURNAL IT FOR SOME DAYS

(ጥያቄ) ለእነዚህ ልምምዶችህ ጥያቄዎች ጠይቅ (self awareness questions)
ለ. A1: ለምንድነው በሌላ ነገር ጊዜ የማላሳልፈው ለምንድነው ይሄን ማድረግ የጀመርኩት?
ለ. A2: ምን እያደረኩኝ ነው? (self assessment questions)
ለ. A3: ምን እያሰብኩኝ ነው? (Meta-awareness question)
ለ A4: ምን እየተሰማኝ ነው (ምን እየሆንኩኝ ነው?) ምን አይነት ሙድ ውስጥ ነኝ ያለሁት? (Emotional intelligence questions)

ይህን ማድርግ ያስፈለገው ያለህን የፖርን ልምድ ጠቅላላ ግንዛቤ ይዘህ ለመለወጥ ዝግጁ እንድትሆን ነው፡ IF YOU ARE ABLE TO START SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO STOP IT. HOW DO YOU START?

For example if you are multitasking and spending too much time alone and on gadgets that is a sure sign that you should limit and take focus on your internet usage and limit it.

ይህ ዑደት (Cycle) ራሱን የሚያንቀሳቅስ ነው፡፡ ይህንን ስንል ለወሲብ ፊልም ለማየት ያለን የስሜት መነሳሳታችን ግምታችንንም ያሳድገዋል፡፡ “ምን አይነት ወሲብ አይ ይሆን? አዳዲስ የወሲብ ድርጊቶች ማየቴ አይቀርም” አይነት ስሜት … በተለምዶ መወስወስ የምንለው (ውስዋስ) ማለት ነው፡፡

ከማስተርቤሽን (ከሴጋ) በኋላ የፀፀት ስሜት ሳይቀር ለዑደቱ ቀጣይነት አስተዋጽኦ አለው፡፡
በአብዛኛው ከፓርን ጋር ሴጋ የሚያደርጉት ልጆች ቀድሞ ያዩትን የወሲብ ፊልም መድገም አያምራቸውም ይህ ደግሞ አዳዲስ ፓርን እንዲፈልጉ ከማድረግ ባለፈ (Novetity Seeking) ከጤናማ የወሲብ ልምምዶች ውጪ የሆነ የወሲብ ፊልሞችን ወደማየት ያስገባቸዋል፡፡ የዚህም መንስኤ ዲሴንሲታይዜሽን የምንለው አይምሮአዊ ለውጥ ነው፡፡ በቀላሉ ስሜት ማጣት ነው፡፡ ከመጠን በላይ ለወሲብ ፊልም በመስጠት (Over Indulgence) ልቅ ለሆኑ ፊልም ካልሆነ በቀር የስሜት መነሳሳታቸው መቀነስ (መዋዠቅ) ነው፡፡ ይህም ወደ ብዙ እና (የበለጠ) የፓርን መስመር ውስጥ ይከተናል፡፡ ብሎም፣ የፍላጎት መዛባት ውስጥ ይከተሀል፡፡ ዶፓሚን የተባለ በአይምሮአችን የሚገኝ ኬሚካል ከተጠበቀ ውጪ አዲስ ነገር ለመመልከት ከመነሳሳት ይመነጫል (Anticipation building) ይህም የፍላጎታችንን መጠን በመቆጣጠር ለዑደቱ ቀጣይነት ያረጋግጣል፡፡ ይህ የፓርን ቀጣይነት በዋነኝነት የአይምሮህ ቅንብር እና የጉጉትን ውጤት መሆኑን አስተውል፡፡
አዲስ ነገር (newness) በአጠቃላይ media ውስጥ የማስተዋወቅ (Advertisement) ትልቅ ሚና አለው፡፡ ይህም የሆነበት ምክንያት ደፓሚን የተባለውን የጉጉት ኬሚካል የሚያነሳሳ በመሆኑ ነው፡፡
ከ6 ወር እስከ 1 ዓመት ጊዜ በፖርን ህይወት ካሳለፍክ ወደኋላ ተመልሰህ ያየሀቸውን ፓርን አስተውለከው ከሆነ ተመሳሳይ የሆነ በአዲስ ስም የሚቀርቡ መሆናቸውን ትረዳለህ፡፡ በድብርት እና በስሜት ጡዘት ውስጥ ስትሆን ግን ይህንን ከማስተዋል ይልቅ አዲስ ነገር አገኛለሁ ብለህ ማሰብን ትመርጣለህ፡፡ ምንም አዲስ እንኳን ቢሆን ከአየሀቸው የፓርን ፊልሞች በተመሳሳይ መልኩ ቀርቦ ከመድገምህ ውጪ አዲስ ነገር አታገኝም፡፡ አዲስ ነገር መጠበቅህ የድብርትህ እና የስሜትህ ውጤት መሆኑን እወቅ፡፡ ድብርት እና ስሜትህ እውነቱን የመደበቅ ጉልበት ሊኖረው ይችላል፡፡ ይህን ሁልጊዜ ማስተዋል አስፈላጊ ነው፡፡
1.2. የሰው ልጅ ተፈጥሮ አይምሮው የማይቀበለውን ድርጊት ለረጅም እድሜ እያደረገ መኖር አይፈቀድለትም፡፡ ስለዚህ ሲሆን ድርጊቱን ይተዋል፤ ወይ አይምሮው ያስተባብላል፣ ያመቻቸዋል፣ ለዚህም ነው ብዙ ጊዜ ሲጋራ የሚያጨሱ ወይም መጠጥ የሚያዘወትሩ “ብዙም አይጎዳም” አይነት አዝማሚያ ወይም አስተሳሰብ የሚታይባቸው ችግሩን እንደ ችግር መቀበል አይፈልጉም (ይሳናቸዋል)፡፡ (Cognitive dissonance)
ብዙ በወሲብ ፊልም ልምምድ ውስጥ የኖሩ ሰዎች ስትጠይቅ ማንንም እንዳልጎዳና እንደ ችግር መታየት እንደሌለበት ይነግሩሀል፡፡ ይህ ክህደት (Denial or Defensive mechanism of the mind) አንዱ የአለመለወጥ ምልክት እንደሆነ እወቅ፡፡
አንዳንዴ በፓርን ችግር ላይ አብዝቶ መጨነቅ እና መወጣጠር ከፓርን መውጣት እንደማትችል እንድታስብና ችግሩን ቆልለህ በአይምሮህ እንድትሸነፍ ሊያደርግህ ስለሚችል ያለህበትን ሁኔታዎች ሁሉ ከግምት ማስገባት ተገቢ ነው በዚህ ችግር በጥልቅ የነበሩ ሁሉ ወጥተው ለሌሎች ምሳሌ ሆነዋል፡፡ ያንተ ተስፋ መቁረጥ ትርጉም የለውም፡፡
አንዳንዴ በትንሹ የሚስቡ የሴት ምስሎች አንኮ (ተራ የሆነ ለማንኛውም ፊልም ወይም የዘፈን ቪዲዮች ላይ ሊገኝ የሚችሉ “የሚመስጡ” የሴት ምላሾች) በአይምሮህ ውስጥ ሌላ ሀሳብ ሊጭሩ ይችላሉ፡፡ ተፅዕኖ የሌለው ቢመስልም ቀስ በቀስ በአይምሮህ እያብሰለሰልህ እና ከዚህ በፊት ከአየሀቸው ምስሎች ጋር ተያይዞ ወደተባባሰ የወሲብ ምስሎች እና ቪዲዮዎች ሊወስድህ ይችላል፡፡ (A-1 እና A-3) ግንኙነት፡፡
ምክንያታዊ የአይምሮዎችን ክፍል (rational mind) እንደዚህ አይነት መባበያ መልእክቶችን የሚያሰጋ እና ለውድቀት የሚዳርግ (Risky) አድርጎ ሲወስዳቸው ስሜታዊ የአይምሮዎችን (mammalian brain) ክፍል ግን ዶፓሚን በተባለው ኬሚካል እየተነዳ እነዚሁን ስጋት የሚፈጥሩ (Risky) ማባበያዎችን እንደ ስሜት ቀስቃሽ እና አስደሳች (Exciting, Daring, risky and adventurous) አድርጎ በመውሰድ ወደ ፓርን ይጋብዘናል፡፡
ይህም የስሜትህ እና የሞራል ትግልህ (የጉጉት ኬሚካል (Dopamine) በአይምሮህ እንዲባባስ አስተዋጽኦ አለው፡፡ ይህ የውስጥ ትግል ከቀጠለ እራሱ ለፓርን የሚጋብዝ ነው፡፡ (The battle between the water & the stone, in time the water wins) ስለሆነም ማንኛውም ስጋት የሚያባብስ መልክ ማስያዝ ትክክል አይደለም፡፡ ማለትም ስሜትህ ጋር የሚደረገው ትግል እንደ ፈተና በመውሰድ የሀይማኖት መልክ (ቅርጽ) ማስያዝ ለስሜትህ ጉልበት እንዲያገኝ ከማድረጉ ባለፈ በፀፀት ውስጥ አንድትኖር ትልቅ ምክንያት ይሆናል፡፡ የወሲብ ፊልም (Pornography) ልትቀይረው የምትፈልግ የህይወት ልምምዱ (bad habit) ነው፡፡ ከዚህ ያለፈ አይደለም፡፡
በአጠቃላይ በውስጥህ የሚፈጠረው ግጭት (Intense inner conflict) ለከባድ ስሜት ይዳርግሀል፡፡ ብሎም ለስሜትህ መስጠት አስገዳጅ ደርገዋል፡፡ ጤናማ የወሲብ እርጋታን ያሰጥሀል፡፡
በፓርን ልምምድ ውስጥ የምትገኝ በጣም ጥሩ የስብእና እና የሀይማኖት ሰው ልትሆን ትችላለህ፡፡
በጊዜ የተገደበ የፓርን ፕሮግራም ለዚህ "ሱስ" ቀጣይነት ዋናው ድርሻ አለው፡፡ ቀንና ጊዜውን መጠባበቅ (Anticipation) ወይም ተስፋ ማድረግ ልምምዱ በአንተ ላይ እንዲበረታ ያደርጋል፡፡ ስለዚህ የፓርን ፕሮግራም ካለን ይህንን በማስወገድ እንጀምር፡፡
የፓርን አእምሮአዊ ጠለፋ (Psychological Hijack)
የስሜት የአይምሮ ክፍል ከፓርን ቪዲዮ ከተቃራኒ ፆታ የሚፈለገውን ሁልጊዜ በቀላሉ እንደሚገኝ በማሰብ ሊታለል ይችላል፡፡
በዛ ላይ እጅግ ብዙ ቆነጃጂቶችን እንዳገኝ በማመን ለማግኘት በመጓጓት ሊታለል ይችላል፡፡ ይህ የተሳሳተ ሀሳብ (fallacy) በስሜት ጡዘት (ተጽዕኖ) የሚፈጠር አይነ ህሊና (imagination) ነው፡፡ይህም የፓርን አእምሮአዊ ጠለፋ (Psychological Hijack) ነው፡፡
ከስሜት በተመለሰ ጊዜ (ምን ሆኜ ነው) አይነት የፀፀት ስሜት ነው የሚያስተናግደው የአእምሮ ጠለፋ መሆኑን ሲገነዘብ ነው፡፡
Concentration ከሚፈልጉ እና Decision making ከሚፈልጉ ስራዎች በየጊዜው እረፍት መውሰድ፡ ስሜት የመቆጣጠር አቅምህን ያዳብረዋል፡፡
መቼ ደካማ እንደሆንክ፣ ምን አይነት ሙድ ላይ እንደሆንክ፣ ምን አይነት ምግቦች እየወሰድክ እንደሆነ ሁላ ሳይቀር ግንዛቤ ውስጥ አስገብተህ የመንቀሳቀስ ልምድ ሊኖርህ ይገባል፡፡
Make it an opportunity to journal your triggering thoughts (የማባበያ ሀሳቦች) as they happen in your mind in the self awareness table.
አንድ ገበሬ የዘር ፍሬውን መሬት ከዘራ ምቹ የሆነ ሙቀት እና እርጥበት ይፈልጋል፡፡ ፓርኖግራፊ (የወሲብ ፊልም እና ምስሎች) እንደዘር በአይምሮአችን ከተዘራ በኋላ ቀደም ብለን ያየናቸውን (ውስጣዊ እና ውጫዊ) ቀስቃሽ ልምዶችን እና ምቹ ሁኔታ የሚፈጠሩ ልምምዶች ቀስ በቀስ በእኛ ላይ ጉልበት እንዲያገኙ እና ስር እንዲሰድድ ያደርጉታል፡፡ ስለዚህ በእነዚህ በአራት ክፍል ከፍለን ያየናቸው ምልክቶችን መጠንቀቅና በተቻለ ሁኔታ ሁሉ ማስወገድ አስፈላጊ ነው፡፡
እነዚህ ያየናቸው ምቹ ሁኔታ እና ቀስቃሽ ልምምዶች ቀጥታ ወደፖርን የሚገፋፋን በአይምሯችን የተበተብነውን የፓርን ምስል ሰንሰለት ሲሆን ይህም በተገኘው አጋጣሚ ፓርን ማየት አቶማቲክ እንዲሆን ያደርገዋል፡፡ ይህም ሴንሲታይዜሽን ይባላል፡፡
የስሜት ውስዋስ (Temptation) ከ2-3 ሰከንድ በላይ አያልፍም፡፡ ነገር ግን ሀሳባችንን ስንሰጠው ቀስ በቀስ ጊዜያችንን ይቆጣጠራል፡፡ ብሎም ሙሉ ለሙሉ ስሜታችንን ይቆጣጠራል፡፡ ስለዚህ (Alert) መሆንን ይጠይቃል፡፡ ከፖርን ልምድ መውጣት ቀላል እንደማይሆን በማሰብ የተዘጋጀ አይምሮ ይኑርህ፡፡ የስሜት፣ የሀሳብ እና የጊዜ ብሎም የጉልበት ለውጥ እና መስዋት ይፈልጋል፡፡
ስሜት ለጊዜው ነው ሀሳብም ይደበዝዛል (ይረሳል) ግን ጠንካራ ሰው ሆነሀ ትወጣለህ፡፡
ቁልፍ ጊዜህን እና ጉልበትህን ራስህን በሚያሻሽሉ ልምምዶች ማዳበር ነው Live each day as it come “ዛሬ የመጨረሻ ቀን ፓርን ልይ” የምትለው ሀሳብ ቀይርና “ዛሬ ብቻ ፓርን አላይም ነገን ፈጣሪ ያውቃል” በሚል ቀይረው አንድ ቀን ከፓርን እና ማስተርቤሽን ውጪ ማሳለፍ የአለም መጨረሻ እንደማይሆን ለራስህ ንገረው፡፡
ከፓርን ውስዋስ ከበስተጀርባ የአንተ መለወጥ እንዳለ አስተውል፡፡
- ብሩህ ቀኖች እንዳሉ ሁሉ ተስፋ የሚያስቆርጥ ቀኖች እንደሚኖሩ አትርሳ፡፡
- ሙድህ ከተሰረቀ እራስህን ከመለየት ተቆጠብ፡፡ አንዱ ወደ ፓርን ሊጋብዝ የሚችል ስሜት ነውን፡፡ ጥናት ማጥናት ካለብህ እንኳ በጋራ ለማጥናት ወስን፡፡

ስለ ማስተርቤሽን (ሴጋ)
- የስፖርም ህዋስ DNA & RNA የያዘ ነው፡፡ ዲ ኤን ኤ የዘር ክፍሉን ሲይዝ አር ኤን ኤ ደግሞ ኢንዛይሞችን ፕሮቲን፣ ካልሺየም፣ ፎስፈረስ፣ የሰውነት ጨዎች፣ ቴስቴስትሮን እና ሌሎችም ንጥረ ነገሮችን ይይዛል፡፡ ይህ የዘር ህዋስ ከሰውነትህ በሚፈስበት ጊዜ እነዚህ ንጥረ ነገሮች በተወሰነ መጠን ከሰውነትህ ይወጣሉ፡፡ በመሆኑም ማስተርቤሽን የሚያደርግ ሰው ሰውነቱን እየጎዳ ነው፡፡
- የሳይኮሎጂ እና የፊዚዮሎጂ መዛባትን ሊያስከትልም ይችላል፡፡ ማስተርቤሽን ማብዛት የሰውነታችንን ኬሚካል በማብዛት ለጤና ችግሮችም ያጋልጡናል፡፡ ለትኩረት ማጣት ለአጭር ጊዜ (የማስታወስ ብቃት) መቀነስ ይዳርጋል፡፡ ብሎም ለሙድ መለዋወጥ፣ የእይታ ችግር እና ሌሎችም ውስጣዊ ችግሮች ሊያጋልጥ እንደሚችል ጥናቱ ያሳያሉ፡፡ የፀጉር መሳሳትም አንዱ ምልክት ሊሆን ይችላል፡፡

What happens when you drop a male rat into a cage with a receptive female rat? First, you see a frenzy of copulation. Then, progressively, the male tires of that particular female. Even if she wants more, he has had enough. However, replace the original female with a fresh one, and the male immediately revives and gallantly struggles to fertilize her."

That's what is happening to you when you constantly watch porn. Every click of the mouse is another female that you mentally mated.

"Modern allure of pornography is driven by a Triple-A Engine. Porn is available, affordable and anonymous."

There is a reason why you are reading these papers. Proclaim to yourself: "I am not watching porn because I am not a porn watcher. Pornography will never disturb my life anymore. I(MY LIFE) will never return to porn. Porn is the thing of my past." Assert this to yourself no matter the journey of your recovery looks like.

KEEP THE RESET MENTALITY ALIVE EVEN WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR SELF CONTROL, AT THE EDGE OF RELAPSE. HAVE A RESET BUTTON IN YOUR MIND, EVEN IF YOU HAVE SLIP INTO PORN CONTENT, CLEAR ALL YOUR HISTORY AND DOWNLOADS ANYTIME YOU GO OUT OF IT HAVE A PREPARED MINDSET TO LEAVE BEHIND YOUR MISTAKES AND ERRORS AND FOCUS ON YOUR PRESENT AND FUTURE.

Don't be discouraged if you have some ups and downs to master the habit of mindfulness and self-actualization detaching yourself from the old impulsiveness habits. Here is an interesting fact about your mind:

Your mind comprises an intricate, coded aspect of your overall being. A fascinating illustration of this is the instinctual response that occurs when you fall asleep and periodically wake up briefly with reflex reaction. This phenomenon is the mind's automatic system checking for vital signs to ensure you are not dead. Notably, the mind operates with its own inherent awareness, primarily focused on monitoring the body's state. This 'system awareness' is the mind's core concern regarding your well-being. To gain a deeper understanding of your internal state, it is essential to decode the mind's language and interpret the signals being communicated.

CRITICAL QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF:

What do I actually need?

What is causing me to continuously crave?

What action should you take now?

Humans are incredibly adaptable, brilliant learners. Advances in neuroscience show that we have a brain that is capable of changing itself. While this confers enormous survival advantages, it also burdens us with unintended consequences: We can be reprogrammed to take pleasure from and crave almost anything.

Some fellow said:

we have fallen in love with harem. It is as simple as that. Your brain thinks the harem is real and is behaving accordingly. When you are at home, you are desperately excited to bang girls from your harems. When you are away, you are excited to get home.

You have to break up with the harem.

This process is so tough because it involves BREAKING Up. Your brain has to accept that you are saying goodbye to all those girls, never to see them again!

Porn has to be attacked from many different angles. You need a full arsenal of tools and strategies, as well as a proper mindset. Willpower alone won’t do

Dopamine: a common thread

Dopamine are the barometer by which you determine the value of any experience. They tell. you what to approach or avoid, and where to put your attention. dopamine rises with anticipation. It's your motivation and drive to pursue potential pleasure or long term goals.

The fact is, the brain's reward center doesn't know what porn is. It only registers levels of stimulation through dopamine spikes. Dopamine is odd. It shoots up when something is better than expected (violates expectations), but drops when expectations are not met. In contrast, with an endless stream of ‘I can’t believe what I just saw’ videos, your expectations are constantly violated (which the brain finds more stimulating.)

When we make an artificial supernormal stimulus our top priority it’s because it has triggered a bigger blast of dopamine in our brain’s reward circuit than its natural counterpart.

Internet porn just happens to elicit spikes of dopamine for all of the "salient" stimuli for which we evolved to be on the lookout:

Strong emotions: surprise, fear, disgust

Novelty: new food sources, new predators, new mates

Seeking and searching: exploring territories, foods or mating opportunities

Anything that violates expectations: unexpected bonanzas or dangers

Research confirms that anticipation of reward and novelties amplify one another to increase excitement and rewire the reward circuitry of the brain.

Porn roulette can lead to unwanted destinations. Over time the brain that feeds on erotic media is trained to equate sexual excitement with the novelty and variety of Pornography. This man has neurologically attached his brain to be most aroused when viewing a wide variety of images and acts. “He conditions his brain to only really be sexually aroused to this constant parade of different women, of different sexual images,” Kleponis says

Desensitized porn users search for whatever will jack up their lagging dopamine. Once they find it, dopamine soars, and the process of re-conditioning their sexual response has begun.

Lesson? High levels of dopamine can powerfully rewire the brain and alter sexual tastes (at least temporarily). sexual interests are condition able (changeable), and different from fundamental sexual orientation.

One experience shared about altered dopamine signaling:

Part of the reason that you get so frustrated post-PMO is that the brain has been used to a HUGE diet of ‘sex’ (OK, actually wanking to porn), so it thinks that level of stimulation and sexual activity is the norm. After it has thrown its temper tantrum for a while, it gives up and adapts…

We point out that research reveals that dopamine supplies the motivation to respond to all salient stimuli. And The reality is that numbed brains have less reaction to other stimuli because nothing feels worth bothering about.

Although symptoms such as erectile dysfunction, social anxiety, lack of motivation, concentration problems and depression are quite different, they share a common finding in the scientific literature. All have been associated with altered dopamine signaling in the brain’s reward circuitry. Dopamine is the “go get it” neurochemical essential for libido, risk-taking, motivation, focus, and anticipation and cheerfulness.

Regular exercise leads to sustained increases in dopamine and related adjustments. Exercise is known as a ‘beneficial stressor’

Dopamine is central to concentration, focus, motivation and memory formation, and low dopamine signaling is strongly associated with poor working memory (monkeys too) and ADHD (Attention deficiency disorder). A measurable decline in dopamine signaling is also character of Pornography. Dopamine helps us to recall what is important in our environment, and to remember the appropriate response to a stimulus. And then Dopamine fuels the tension and craving for meeting a need while other concerns are ignored, saying, “Hey, do this now!”

Sometimes Move your furniture around. Environmental cues associated with use can be powerful triggers because they themselves release dopamine.

Working memory is the ability to keep information in mind while using it to complete a task or deal with a challenge. For example, it’s the capacity to juggle various bits of information as you do a math problem or keep the characters straight as you read a story. It helps you hold your goal in mind, resist distractions and inhibit impulsive choices, so it’s critical to learning and planning. Research finding show improving working memory seems to strengthen impulse control.

Internet sex participants’ executive functioning could be reduced during their engagement in Internet sex, since [working memory] is a necessary and important factor of goal-directed behaviors.

German scientists results showed that working memory was worst during the porn viewing and that greater arousal augmented the drop. ለምሳሌ ለምታገኛቸው ሰዎች ትኩረት ማጣት ጋር ተያይዞ መልካቸውን እና ስማቸውን መርሳት (is related with reduced working memory) ቁልፍ በተደጋጋሚ መርሳት፣ ያለብህን (ማድረግ) ሀላፊነቶች መዘንጋት ወይም ችላ ማለት ቀጠሮ ማሳለፍ (missing appointment)

ተረጋግተህ በትኩረት ለማንበብ ትቸገራለህ፡፡ አይምሮህ በሀሳብ እና በፓርን ምስል ይረበሻል፡፡ Distractibility is also related with lower happiness index on a scientific paper titled “a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” Distractibility is also related with cases of attention deficit disorder.

የፓርን ቀጣይነት የሚያረጋግጠው Impulsiveness የምንለው ያዳበርነው ባህሪ ነው፡፡ ከፓርን ሀሳብ ጋር ተያይዞ ወዲያው ስሜትህን የመከተል የአይምሮ ልምድ ነው፡፡ ለምሳሌ ውጪ እግር ኳስ ለመጫወት ስታስብ የቤት ስራህ ትዝ ሊልህ ይችላል፡፡ ነገር ግን ፓርን ሀሳብ ስታስብ ቀጥታ ወደማየት እና ጊዜ መስጠት (Automatic response) ይቃጣሀል፡፡ ይህንን ነው በዋነኝነት መስበር ያለብህ፡፡

Early Adolescent Boys’ exposure to Internet pornography: Relationships to pubertal timing, sensation seeking, and academic performance (2015) – This rare longitudinal study (over a six-month period) suggests that porn use decreases academic performance..

German researchers recently confirmed that moderate porn use, even by non-addicts, correlates with shrunken grey matter in regions of the brain associated with cognitive function.

Desensitization refers to a general dialing down of responsiveness to all pleasure…a baseline change.

This relate with Reduced grey matter in this reward-related region of the brain which means fewer nerve connections. Fewer nerve connections here translates into sluggish reward activity, or a numbed pleasure response. The more porn used, the less reward activation when sexual images were flashed on the screen. A possible explanation is that heavy users eventually need more stimulation to fire up their reward circuitry

It appears that inattention (which in turn impairs memory) is really caused by lack of motivation (reduced D2 dopamine receptors). Tasks seem boring or uninteresting.

Porn users report problems during or after Internet porn consumption, such as neglecting or forgetting responsibilities, missing appointments leading to negative consequences.

“Better concentration,” “no more brain fog,” clearer thinking,” and “improved memory” are a few of the most common benefits reported by those who reboot.

Another fellow shares: my writing is much better. I don’t mean handwriting (though that got better too). I mean word choice, sentence structure, etc.

Other frequently reported benefits after giving up highspeed porn are decreased social anxiety and depression, improved sexual performance, greater attraction to real mates, seeing potential partners as people rather sex-aids, and return to earlier sexual tastes.

Sexual Picture Processing Interferes with Decision-Making Under Ambiguity (2013) – Study found that viewing pornographic imagery interfered with decision making during a standardized cognitive test. This suggests porn might affect executive functioning.

Compulsiveness is a good descriptor of hypofrontality. Even when negative consequences seem imminent, ability to foresee relapse is too weak. The mind only listens to the impulsive instinct which tells “Get it while the getting is good”

The nerve connections between the reward circuit and prefrontal cortex worsened with increased porn watching: An association between porn use and impaired impulse control.

In general people seeking help for hypersexual behavior often exhibit features of impulsivity, cognitive rigidity, poor judgment, deficits in emotion regulation, and excessive preoccupation with sex.

Age 17 – I was feeling worse day by day without a reason after 6 months of PMO . Some symptoms were: laziness, lethargy, no energy, tremors, severe anxiety, bad memory, no vitality, low voice..

Another guy shares his experience:

Staying off porn really makes a difference! I thought it was impossible to quit porn to the point of contemplating castration and suicide … started having depression and anxiety. The next 15 years of my life were completely miserable. I was incredibly anti-social. I quit all the sports that I played even though I was top rank in all of them. My marks plummeted to barely passable.”

During my porn use:

- No ENERGY, no matter how much I slept, NONE. NOTHING. AT All. Always tired.

- I was not living life, but I was not dead either. I was a zombie.

- My lowest point was when I lost out on my pharmacy diploma and lost my girlfriend on the same day, due to porn and procrastination.

- I had zero energy, and zero motivation. I was lethargic for every hour of every day. I didn’t eat right. I didn’t exercise. I didn’t study. I didn’t care about personal hygiene. And I could not care…

Improvements since quitting:

-       Social anxiety improved drastically – includes confidence, eye contact,
-       Comfort interacting, smoothness, etc.
-       More energy in general
-       Clearer, sharper mind, more concentration
-       More vibrant looking face
-       Depression alleviated
-       Desire to interact with women
-       Boners are back!!

The effect of PMO in someone’s life may slightly differs from others because of different background, experience, life style, age …

But it all involves:

that empty feeling, the exhaustion, being fade up and disappointed in yourself perhaps a little ashamed, something of your personality is becoming diminished, something of your true nature is being eroded and corroded, all that wasted time by pornography, that washed out feeling, Lower back pain, muscle spasms, loss of muscle mass, fatigue, mood swing, irritability, over stimulated nervous system (exhausted), inability to rationalize, memorize properly. ህይወት ፍትሀዊ እንዳልሆነች ማሰብ እና መናደድ (also self pity) ተደጋጋሚ ህይወትህ ይሆናል፡፡

Another guy shares:

When I myself was deep in this shit, I underestimated the impact of porn. I thought it was just taking away say 20% of my life. But soon I realized it was close to 99%. It is damn shit scary.

my academic life was a mess. I'd have to read something over and over to even begin to understand it. I had a terrible time keeping up in conversations with my colleagues.

even my perception of what people say/think becomes distorted when I'm on a PMO binge.

I get sick almost all the time. I am always tired. I can't be passionate about anything anymore. I have no sense of competition. … Porn/masturbation has ruined my life and I wouldn’t wish this on my greatest enemy.

Headaches, Persistent rage, shame, grief, abandonment, or depression can signal that counseling would be helpful.

Nerve cells that fire together wire together. Briefly, the brain links together the nerve cells for sexual excitement (in the reward circuit) with the nerve cells that store memories of the events associated with the excitement… today’s porn users learn to wire unpredicted stimuli to their erections…The more you use porn the stronger the nerve connections can become, with the result that you may ultimately need to be a voyeur, need to click to new material, need to climax to porn to get to sleep, or need to search for the perfect ending.

It seems that as users resist climaxing to a particular type of porn, fantasizing about it, thinking about it and worrying about it, the related brain pathways physically weaken from disuse. As neuroscientists say, when nerve cells fire apart wires depart. The use-it-or lose-it principle governs which nerve connections survive.

The lifelong ability of the brain to wire and rewire its neurocircuitry is referred to as brain plasticity or neuroplasticity. Do an activity more often and the brain will create neural pathways that make an activity easier to think about and complete. Repetition matters. But because sexual activity launches such an amazing fireworks show in our brains, it takes less repetition to build these porn pathways than it would for us to engrain cravings for other activities.

Psychologist Richard Davidson said about neuroplasticity “Our brains are constantly changing, constantly being shaped around us. But we have typically very little awareness of what those forces are. Our brains are changing wittingly or unwittingly. Most of the time, it’s unwittingly. Most of the time, we’re not aware, and we also have little control over those forces… we can actually take more responsibility for our own brains by transforming our minds.”

More generally, Neuroplasticity is the lifelong ability of the brain to reorganize neural pathways based on new experiences.

Sustained and guided attention changes the structure of the brain. The human mind is shaped by the intersection of two powerful forces: biology and culture. Cultural changes, in particular technological innovations, profoundly alter how we think.

Perhaps the most important example of the way that digital technology allows us to withdraw from ordinary interaction is pornography.

In the “modern” Western view, sex is about physical pleasure. It’s about stimulating their nerve endings to create pleasure in the brain. This is part of why pornography is so widespread, only seeking the greatest amount of pleasure (which is just a mirage; search and search never finding any).

obsessive-compulsive symptoms, thought disorders, and anxiety and depressive symptoms (plus ግድየለሽነት). Decreased risk-taking, combined with a tendency toward possible angry overreaction, any of which can decrease willingness to socialize are all, In the case of porn use, desensitization - A decline in dopamine signaling symptoms.

(Porn) can also alter our mood, perception and priorities – all without our conscious awareness. It can also sour our enjoyment of – and responsiveness to – everyday pleasures… distort our longer term desires.

Sensitization refers to hyper-reactivity/excitement—but only in response to the specific cues your brain associates with addiction… which happens to be the very thing that caused the desensitization; so it is an unconscious super-memory of pleasure that, when activated, triggers powerful cravings.

Generally the obsessive indulgence has created strong neural pathways in your brain, basically memories, that are easily activated by anything associated with prior use. The mind overvalues the reward, fails to appreciate risk, and fails to activate systems that warn of impending danger. In other words – your willpower has eroded.

If a guy goes from watching porn every day to watching porn twice a month, then that is already a ground. If what you’re doing is bad for you, then doing less of it is at least better (harm reduction). This is the premise of tapering—gradually cutting back on a bad habit. Of course that is not the end of success but it can be a positive sign that with time you will discover that the chaser effect loses its strength. Some guys eliminate or drastically reduce orgasms during their reboot period. At the beginning there are no hard rules.

Encouragement to focus on strengths rather than weaknesses and on optimism instead of pessimism had a ripple effect that helped them confront situations and issues in their lives that were problematic… feelings of inadequacy for individual situations grew shallow.

Rebooting is all about rewiring. So a binge slows things more than a slip. Since the goal is rewiring your brain in the face of resistance (cravings), it’s best to get on with it as soon as you can. Edging can keep dopamine levels high for hours, and train the brain to require constant visual stimulation, rapid-fire novelty…and the young, especially teenagers are thrill seeking and easily bored. They love novelty

Write all of your experiences down as they happen. Make a list of things you are feeling, instead of hiding those feelings. ምን ምን ስሜትህን ሲቆጣጠር እንደነበር ቀንህን ማሰብ፤ ይህም የተሻለ ስለ ስሜታዊ አይምሮህ መገንዘብ ያስችልሀል፡፡ Know yourself. Identify both your weak spots and triggers that set the cycle in motion. With in this 30-45 days notice the forces that lead you to watch porn and keep Journaling. This will help raise your self awareness. At beginning a reboot is like your laboratory. Also, it can be invaluable to check in every day how difficult that day was, what triggers you encountered (or discovered!)

… the lead up to viewing some porn, notice the moment before you do it, that feeling of anticipation raising, the feeling surrounding that, being drown towards it like a magnet, calling you in, how they can begin, listening to those thoughts to the point of almost starting to watch, when and where it begins, just as you are about to let go.

think about the times when you haven't used porn, even when you had the opportunity. What was different about those times? think about that.

When it comes to my habitual urge, is there a time of day, a place, a person, or a mood that tends to open the door to more tempting situations?

Observe your actions, monitor your Reactions. Impatient, impulsive reactions will only delay progress that much longer. Success in life starts from mind management. Meta awareness (knowing what our mind is doing) is very important in this journey.

Find your triggers. One of the reasons we become addicted is because of our inability to manage our emotional lives. Whenever you notice yourself experiencing an emotion or a feeling, try to step back and identify the A-B-C’s involved. Develop your (emotional intelligence).

A: something happens

B: You have a belief about the situation

C: You have an emotional reaction to the situation.

When I hear disappointing news, I do not complain or live in doubt or fear, but instead I am inspired to take advantage of the change for the betterment of my life. How can it strengthen your desire? Make a list of the positive things you are doing right and Look for the reasons you have to do well. And develop an attitude of gratitude.

TRIGGERS THAT CAUSE RELAPSE:

#1 Using internet as my daily social source

#2 Not doing a form of exercise everyday (must do something EVERYDAY)

#3 Killing time on the internet

#4 Spending too much time by myself

#5 Not talking to people

#6 Staying in my comfort zone and not progressing further into the unknown each day

#7 Idle time

#8 Reading sexual stories (allowing the fantasy to play out)

#9 Talking to girls about graphic sexual experiences

#10 Longing for a loving, understanding, and lasting relationship

#11 Letting fear stop me from pursuing/accomplishing something

THINGS THAT PREVENT RELAPSE:

#1 Riding my bike for long distances

#2 Going to the gym

#3 Riding my bike to the library

#4 Talking to girls in person

#5 Overcoming a new fear

#6 Exploring a new area

#7 Involving new things in my daily pattern

#8 Having a written out To-Do list

#9 Taking a walk

#10 Going somewhere with no internet or television for a couple day

#11 Talking to someone about my PMO recovery progress (my accomplishments & fears)

#12 Getting my mind into “work mode” and involved in something productive

#13 If I must get on the internet, do it in a public place (Such as the library)

#14 If triggered, immediately get my mind involved is something non sexual (Do not linger on the “trigger thought”)

#15 involve in intermittent fasting (that helps to balance your system; Google it)

#16 drink a lot of water every day (room temperature)

When recovering users force their attention away from their habitual “relief,” First it despairs of ever feeling good again, but eventually it finds the natural rewards it evolved to find. The more changes you can make in the patterns of your daily life to support quitting your bad habit and instilling good habits, the more successful you will be. Remember that environment matters.

Someone noted about the general mechanism of our response to addiction-related things:

When I first started this process, my feeling after a relapse was a very big low. And even days following. These times are crucial to avoid PMO even more. Train your brain to not want another “hit” even after you relapsed. It was hard to do no doubt, but it is SO worth it.

Another one notes:

The common trap that people fall into when transitioning from compulsions to recovery (or from any emotionally intense behavior to another) is their perception involving the emptiness phase of a healthy transition. Without the ingrained habit, they are left with an emotional void that is very real. And very uncomfortable. The trap is in seeing this void as proof that their habit was a natural, necessary entity in their life. Here comes the excitement and pleasure and passion. Along with the guilt and shame and depression. But it doesn’t matter. They would rather feel all of the emotions, than to feel nothing at all. And so, relapse occurs. PORN HAS A DOMESTICATING EFFECT FOR ITS ABILITY TO BECOME YOUR LIFE.

The void that is created when eliminating the behavioral patterns that managed the majority of your emotions is like removing your soul. You no longer feel “normal”. You feel as if there is something wrong inside of you; like you are broken somehow. You might even feel that, without these compulsive behaviors, life isn’t even worth living.

What happens is this: When the emotional pain of the bad habit's consequences have grown too great, the motivation to end the bad habit kicks in. As the habit is no longer capable of serving its purpose, the decision to recover provides an intense emotional boost that helps to manage that pain. The person feels good. That feeling may last for weeks, it may last for months. But eventually, inevitably, the emotional intensity that came with the commitment to recover wanes, and the person finds themselves, once again, lacking the ability to manage their emotional life. A return to the habit (or another addiction) is the only emotional management strategy that they have. This, followed by a re-commitment to recovery…followed by another relapse…followed by, well, you get the idea.

At these times, our guard is weakened and we’re more willing to accept and/or create a reason to relapse.

…

3) This will take my mind off things

4) It’s the only way I can feel good

5) Only this will make the pain go away

6) I need it to think clearly

7) This will make the urge stop

8) I’m afraid of life without it

9) I already started, I can’t leave it

10) I’m not strong enough to quit

11) I’ll always be lonely

“RATIONALIZING

15) It’s perfectly natural

16) Others do it so it must be okay

17) I’m the problem, not what I’m doing

18) I can control it without getting carried away

19) I’ll do it less and less until I quit

20) This is what I want, so this is okay

22) If I don’t watch the hardcore stuff, then it’s okay

25) I don’t have to watch porn, I can just masturbate (and vice versa)

26) I can masturbate if I don’t fantasize

27) No one’s getting hurt if it’s just me involved

28) As long as no one else is suffering but me, I can handle it

29) If no one knows about it, it’s okay

30) I can quit when I’m older and stronger

31) Some people can’t be cured or don’t have the willpower

32) I’ll wait until I have a boyfriend/girlfriend to quit

33) If I do all this stuff with my boyfriend/girlfriend instead, then it’s okay

34) No one else cares so why should I?

35) This is what I am and I should accept it

36) There’s nothing wrong with masturbation

37) I don’t need boundaries in sex

…

39) There is no responsibility in sexuality. As long as it’s consensual, it doesn’t matter what I do or how I think

…

41) Porn and masturbation and sex are tools meant to be used

…

43) The urge will always be there, so I should just give up and keep using

Someone shares: After a long stretch off I would think that I had control, I allow myself to check out some soft core porn and end up on a two hour binge surfing porn.

From your mind’s perspective, you’re denying it something you “need,” so of course it’s going to try and convince you to relapse. Follow even one of these lies, I guarantee you will never get clean.

It is important to always be mindful of the possibility for us to say， “Just this once again, I’ll do porn and then I’ll stop.” If we start again, it’s opening the possibility for a downward spiral to this bad habit, once again. …ፓርን ቀስ በቀስ በሀሳብህ እየተመላለሰ ነው ውሳኔህን የሚሸረሽረው፡፡ ሳታስበው ራስህን 'እተዋለሁ' ባልከው ነገር ላይ ተመልሰህበት ታገኘዋለህ፡፡

Whenever you are tempted to watch porn, It always start by a hook. A hook is any precursor thought and action that leads you to watch porn. You may think of the your action as something out of curiosity or boredom but within a few moment it leads you to watch porn. For example one might say “let me see girls dancing on the internet just to relax” but finally will find himself watching pornography.

The big secret about Stopping Porn

MIND YOU: THIS IS NOT JUST ADVICE THIS MUST BE YOUR LAW YOU NEED TO FOLLOW. OTHERWISE FORGET FINDING ANY REAL CHANGE.

Porn is "harmless" to your mind, your mind doesn't think porn is harmful at all. The mind is down to take a casual glance of pornography, just to check what is available according to its 'inventive' search terms. It is always curious what new and possibly surprising and fulfilling experience it can find. This is the porn cycle. And this curious and innovative searching tendency of the mind is what you need to cut out from your habit from the very beginning. Pornography always holds the allure of offering the mind something entirely unknown and unseen, with the potential to stimulate dopamine levels.

you need to take your mind as a tool of knowledge, rather than as your core identity or "self". the mind is a biological organ that needs to be managed, you are more than that- so start talking to your mind as it justifies seeing a quick peek pornography and let it know " I will deal with it with time" The mind should not be the master, of who you are, just a sign giver to your internal self/needs.

Dealing with porn does not mean struggling in the heat of temptation. you can't say I am stopping while you are aimlessly taking time at the internet that can lead you to porn. for the most part dealing with porn means dealing with the root problem which is slowly slipping into porn related contents. Entertaining any porn related search-term on the internet and so on.

Burning in the temptation and trying to stop while at the heat of the moment is not called stopping porn. Even if you did it before, it is just a matter of time; you are most likely to get back to it.

NO ONE IS ABOVE INFLUENCE. A SLIP WILL AT SOME POINT CAUSE A BINGE. THAT MEANS IF YOU ALLOW TO GIVE IN FOR A LITTLE BIT OF SEXY PICTURE OR ANYTHING CLOSE TO IT, YOU HAVE ALREADY STARTED LOSSING IT. IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME; YOU ARE DRIVING YOURSELF TO HARDCORE PORN STAFFS. DO NOT TRY TO RATIONALIZE "THIS IS NOT PORN, JUST BEAUTIFUL GIRLS OR …" CUT IT FROM THE SMALLEST SIGN OF GIVING IN. OTHERWISE YOU ARE OPENING A CHANCE TO CONTINOUSLY BE HARRASSED BY CRAVING.

Whenever you mess around with this equation you fail in your weakness:
Flirt with your (seemingly harmless) erotic thoughts = Temptation will come and overcome you [JUST A MATTER OF TIME]

TAKE NOTICE: DONT BE overly protective of yourself by looking at all ways to close loopholes of porn access. It is all about how you channel your life and attention and deal with impulsiveness. If you are always looking for ways to close loopholes, trying to be porn-proofed, you will find yourself in it at some point of time.

As one great personality noted,

"Don't pay attention to it. Don't Feed it. The dog you pay attention to, loves you too much...the moment you say i am not doing this again, you just paid attention. it means you want to do it again. Because the secret is in the paying of attention."

Your real problem are only two things: Knowledge and Time. Knowledge in the awareness of the context (inner and outer context as discussed in Amharic section above). time in a sense of how you channel your energy; conditioning and usage of time.

WHAT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAAND IS THE AUTOPILOT MODE OF YOUR BRAIN IS A WONDERER. IT DOESNOT UNDERSTAND VALUE.

in our normal daily mindset, we are not fully aware of the underlying drives and motivations behind our actions. we may act in ways we later regret without understanding why. Pausing to gain insight into ourselves allows us to behave in a manner more aligned with our true values and priorities.

You are a product of your environment and your time; especially the part of your mind which deals with porn. it really resembles to the idea of biological robot. You access porn once, you already opened the door for watching porn the next time. it is so normal for the mind to get back to pornography.

Whenever you got hit by an urge of watching porn, instead of fighting it You just have to understand AND accept your feelings and remember one word: Priority.

There is nothing wrong with your system, your intense desires. It is perfectly normal response of your system to such huge buffet of sex (actually pornography). BUT you are NOT CORRECT in channeling these especial needs in satisfying way because of the time and knowledge issues.

And when you decide to watch porn (and related contents), set up your time and say "...ok I will do it let me first give my priority time." Reaffirm it if it helps. Say it out laud if necessary "I will do it! But MY priority comes first, and here they are...!" and set your program for your mind and snap out of the nagging voice. And give specific set of time for what you are doing and plan to give time for the meta-awareness table then you will give time for watching porn (Mind you: this is just your plan). The aim is to get objective without denying your physiological need. and to not just be dragged by your impulsive urge that completely steal your day and your joy.

Make it your law to first and for most to write down your trigger or your erotic idea you are craving to watch (or any distracting ideas for that matter) onto a TO-DO LIST before opening or taking any action towards it and take only one to two minutes before you act on your porn thought.

In this one-to-two minutes, make a self-awareness refresh ==> what am I doing now? if it is not necessary or priority in any way, let me give a few minutes only for reviewing this blogpost and the meta-awareness table and make a deliberate action from it then I will go through my ideas of porn on this to-do list and reconsider.

AFTER YOU FINISH YOUR TIME SET FOR YOUR PRIORITY, STOP ALL WHAT YOU WERE DOING AND TAKE 10-12 MINUTES OF META AWARENESS TABLE REVISION (TAKE THIS AS YOUR SECOND PRIORITY) AND TAKE ACTION FROM THE TABLE WITHOUT HESITATION. MIND YOU, YOU ARE NOT STUBBORNLY SHUTTING DOWN THE REQUEST OF PORN WATCHING. YOU ARE JUST GIVING TIME FOR YOUR PRIORITY. SO IN YOUR MIND YOU ARE SAYING "I WILL GIVE TIME FOR MY URGE BUT I WILL FOCUS ON MY PRIORITY THAT I SET UNTIL THE RIGHT TIME." JUST REMEMBER TO FIX TIME TO NOT GET BOTHERED BY CONTINOUS TRIGGER PREFERABLY MAKE A TO-DO LIST ON PAPER OR NOTEPAD OR STICKY NOTE.

LIVE BY MILESTONES (NOT BY IMPULSE)

I'm excited to introduce you to a productivity hack designed to be seamlessly added to your survival skill and help you become your best self. BUT THE FULL CONTENT IS ACCESSABLE ONLY WHEN YOU REQUEST THE PROGRAM: ራስን ማስተዳደር እና የህልውና ጥበብ AS INTRODUCED AT THE TOP.

The scheme is a way to circumvent impulse and live in clarity. i will give you a livelihood programmer that if integrated to your day-to-day can multiply your productivity and fulfillment.

Here is the snapshot of the primary design of the scheme to follow:

YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE BUT THE PRACTICALLITY AND EASE OF ADAPTATION WAS NOT REALISTIC. IF YOU WANT THE FULL GUIDE INTO THE SIMPISITY OF ACHIEVING EXCELLENCE WITHIN SUCH FRAMEWORK YOU CAN INFORM ME TO ENROLL INTO THE PROGRAM BY CALLING THE PHONE NUMBER ABOVE.

YOUR TO-DO LIST, YOUR SEARCH BAR

FROM NOW ON YOUR TO DO LIST (WEATHER IT IS IN NOTEPAD, STICKYNOTE OR REGULAR PAPER THAT IS ALWAYS ACCESSABLE) IS YOUR SEARCH BAR. WHEN YOU WANT TO GO TO SOME DISTRACTING THOUGHTS YOU FIRST OPEN YOUR TO-DO NOT YOUR GOOGLE TO FIRST BE CLEAR ON THE SEARCH ITEMS.

And again THIS IS THE LAW, YOU JUST NEED TO COMMIT YOURSELF INTO IT AND DOESN'T TAKE TOO MUCH OF YOUR TIME.

THE AIM IS TO HAVE A 2ND LOOK. The you decide what to do with the list.

If you find it hard to arrange the time for the triggering idea you wrote on the to-do list by going through this priority program, then you can know it was a flashing thought that has no value for you but only the mind's chip thrill. So, you can delete it when you find out that it is your flashing thought.

SO YOUR FIRST PRIORITY IS TO GIVE TIME FOR YOUR PRIORITY WHICH INCLUDES TO REVISE AND PRACTICE THE META AWARENESS TABLE OR REVISE THIS PAGE WHICHEVER YOU CAN ACCESS.

HOWEVER, YOU BETTER FIX TIME FOR REVISING YOUR META AWARENESS TABLE ON A REGULAR BASES, ATLEAST AT THE EARLY STAGES.

You will find the meta awareness table in the Facebook group as a word file. You can print it, bind it and fold it in your back-pocket or you can find it in this page titled 'THE TABLE' below.

So your Plan (JUST AS A PLAN) will be:

Although you plan on agreeing with your urge by considering to watch porn, you will implicitly & automatically take action from your meta-awareness table revision then consider porn which will practically postpone your porn watching plan. So in your plan you are programming porn watching at the right priority (after you regain your impulse-free mind).

Stopping porn means less time for porn and rational boxing of porn experience of your life, to some extent being purpose-driven in life. porn is the time you spend on porn, your engagement on porn.

NOTICE: DON'T STOP YOUR CONSIDERATION TO WATCH PORN. IT IS NOT A CHANGE OF PLAN ITS THE PRIORETIZING. YOU DEAL WITH YOUR PRIMITIVE REGION OF THE BRAIN THIS WAY. SET SPECIFIC TIME FOR THE AWARENESS TABLE AS WELL AS FOR THE PORN (IN INTERVAL SET).

The problem with porn is not just porn watching. Porn watching is the face of the problem. The real problem is impulsiveness. You rush to follow your impulse and forget every priority in your life.

The cure for impulsivity is when you start acknowledging your impulsivity. you should not be surprised to find yourself as an automatic response giver to porn. that is your habit built into a pathological system in your mind. There is an automatic (super-highway) connection that channel your habit in your mind. that you must accept first and have a normal and unexaggerated reaction to it.

There is no knowledge that stands the test of your impulsive porn consumption. that means part of why you are watching porn is because there seems to be no reason to not watch it at the time when you are under the compulsion.

The first and most important thing to remember is the auto-pilot mode of our mind is really unrealistic in terms of time perception and only measure everything based on the apparent experience.

GET INTO THE HABIT OF HALTING PORN AT ANY STAGE, EVEN FROM THE SEAMINGLY HARMLESS PRACTICE THAT CAN LEAD TO PORN.

Put the link or page address in a "MUST-CHECK-OUT" list whenever you find yourself impulsively entering porn content, or just when you are crossing the +18 age check-point.

If tempted to prepare the environment to watch porn, let yourself know that after you follow the process, you will prepare the environment to watch porn. no need for rushing, reminding yourself that impulsiveness is the problem and setting the environment for impulsiveness is the real problem. Porn is the trigger; the first trigger.

Hoping that you will do the Prn and being assured in it is not fatally wrong. internally, the prn is not your enemy, but impulsive response is.

"i will do it, just not now; I will write it down first" should be your motto.

Legitimately agree to your request for watching porn and arrange time for it after finishing what you do and a "quick" revising the blogpost/with the meta-awareness table (10-15 minute) and "quick" action taking based on your review. Give specific set of time for what you are doing.

You don't say no to pornography, No is not the answer to pornography. because the mind considers it as being deprived of its basic 'needs'.

you have to tell yourself "I have decided to watch porn (or a more satisfying option) I put it in my program" and assure your mind "unless for a compelling reason that change my mind with better option I am not backing away from watching porn."

WHEN YOU GET INTO ANY PORN TEMPTING CONDITION OR PLACE, PROGRAM YOURSELF AHEAD OF TIME BY FIRST MAKING A TO-DO LIST:

TO DO LIST LOOKS LIKE:

1st my purpose to come here (WHY ARE YOU THERE?)--TIME GIVEN: 30-40 MINUTES (Don't allow more than 40 minutes in your private time with the internet. This is considering you have some urgent and important thing to do. It is always recommended to use internet publicly.)

2nd REVISE META-AWARENESS TABLE (10-12 minutes) AND TAKING ACTION OUT OF IT.

3RD DEALING WITH MY PORN URGE WITH A BETTER OPTION. IF NOT POSSIBLE, PLANNING TO WATCH PORN ((SUPPOSSEDLY))

At least in your head you have set time to watch porn after you set up your priorities.

let me make this clear:

PORN IS NOT YOUR ACTUAL ENEMY, IT IS JUST A DISGUISED PHYSIOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL NEED. IMPULSIVENESS IS YOU REAL ENEMY.

Impulsiveness is a task urgency with or without importance. Whenever you are faced with a dilemma of a need where it is urgent yet not really important like an urge for something cheap, learn to channel that need with a healthier version of it or most productive way. Recondition you mind and habit by upgrading yourself.

what objective enquires is your subjective and impulsive temptation curious of?

I say this considering that in your right mind you will not choose to watch Porn and jerk off, rather you will choose to have a great time with your beautiful woman.

Trying to ban or restrict certain pleasures often backfires by making them more enticing to the mind. When you tell yourself you cannot have something, your mind may start craving it even more. Therefore, it is better to take a programmed approach rather than an absolute "no". If you follow this reasonable steps to cultivate clear thinking, you will reconsider porn from a wiser perspective. And you will not fall into a trap. The key is learning livelihood-discipline, not severe self-denial. Focus on addressing what drives impulsive urges, such as stress or boredom, rather than symptoms like porn. Remember, the goal is inner peace, not external rules.

SIDE NOTE: If you are in a sleep state you have lost most of the cognitive function responsible for objectivity which can make your feeling override and exaggerate your sexual urge to act out. this is just the sleep state of your mind and not your actual energy. beware of this.

Make sure a to-do list is the first thing you open when you are in a sleep state, when you wake up from sleep.

Below we will discuss on some of the precautious measures to adopt to be far from porn. Remember stopping porn is not about toughness, it is about cutting out the catalysts and allowing new habits in life to foster.

THE TABLE

`A.4. ለPMO ድርጊት ምቹ ሁኔታ የሚፈጥሩ ውስጣዊ ልምምዶች

ምን እየተሰማኝ ነው (ምን እየሆንኩኝ ነው?) ምን አይነት ሙድ ውስጥ ነኝ ያለሁት? (Emotional intelligence questions)

Benchmark – Below 9—Green zone- 12 -16- yellow zone; Above 19 Red zone

Date

Average

Entering yellow zone: Habits to Consider and Act:

day

night

day

night

day

night

Day

night

A. Enroll yourself in singing or running or painting or writing club

B. join a debating society, a computer programming club (if there is none, why not be a pioneer of this?)

C. Learn How to start your own business from people

D. involve in charity group

E. Read books about adopting a positive mindset

F. Think of things that you are grateful for. Nurture inner qualities like appreciation, kindness, compassion, have a positive outlook. displaying inspirational quotes in your workspace or in your house

G. screen fasting. ስክሪኖችን አጥፍተህ ሌላ የምትወዳቸውን ጤናማ ልምምዶች አዳብር” አንዳንዴ ሙዚቃ እና ሬድዮ ብቻ የማዳመጥ ልምድ ይኑርህ

H. Cherish your eyes, wrists, spine, etc. and compensate their strain!

I. Invite friends

J. Spend quality time with family. Be intentional about spending appropriate time with your family/household…

K. Wash the dog with someone, Feed the dog. Build a dog house.Play with the family pet.

L. Try out a new hair-do

M. Plant some flowers or do some gardening with somebody

N. Go to the gym/Jump on a treadmill. And socialize.

O. Do some exercise outdoors. Join some workout or just football team if you find nearby. Finish your exercises regime of the day (like 30 minutes of running)

P. Help Fellow with whatever you can do. Giving time to others can further improve feelings of accomplishment.

Q. Wear clothes you never knew you had in closet. Floss and brush your teeth. Put some perfume on. Chew gum. And go outside with the confidence.

R. Spend time with kids.

S. Walk to an old graveyard together with someone, to remember your relative

T. Take up a new hobby/interest – channel your thoughts into something constructive and interesting

U. Sing loud & Whistle

V. Give someone you love a huge hug.

W. Clean out a messy drawer.

X. Learn to cook something. (possibly with someone)

Y. Clean the basement or garage with someone and arrange your home. You will make your parents happy

Z. Take a walk in nature. Watch the sun set.

AA. Listen to radio

BB. Involve in a class. For example learning new language.

CC. try to do at least one ‘random act of kindness’ each day for a complete stranger

DD. Plan to volunteer and travel

EE. Visit nearby colleges or universities for any upcoming events.

FF. think of the responsibilities you can take. ለምሳሌ ልጆችን ማስጠናት፡፡

GG.Get organized-, don’t stagnate and hang around. make a to-do list Make it a respectably-sized list

HH. ራስህን ለመጠበቅ ጊዜ ስጥ

II. Be available. Deliberately give your time.

JJ. From the money you were going to spend on PO think better ways to spend it and act on it.

1. ወደ ድብርት የሚወስዱ የእንቅልፍ ማጣት እና ድካም – 3.5 pt

2. ውድቀት (failure) – 3.5 pt

3. የቅናት ልቦና (Jealously) – 1.5 pt

4. በራሳችን ማዘን (sadness, self pity, being sentimental) – 2.5 pt

5. መበሳጨት፣ መነጫነጭ --3.5 pt

6. በህይወት ተስፋ መቁረጥ (despair) ወይም ተስፋ ማጣት – 2 pt

7. ራስን መጨቆን፣ መጫን--2.5 pt

8. ድብርት እና የብቸኝነት ስሜት (loneliness and boredom)– 3.5 pt

9. ልክ ያለ መሆን ህሊና እና ያልተረጋጋ ስሜት (Guilty mentality and worrying mind) – 3.5 pt

10. ጭንቀት እና መወጣጠር--2 pt

11. ተቀባይነት የማጣት ስሜት (Rejection)& በሰዎች የመገፋት ፍርሀት ማዳበር (Fear of rejection) – 3.5 pt

12. ራስን ለመካስ ለመፍታታት ሀሳብ ስናስብ – 1.5 pt

13. ከልክ ያለፈ ደስታን ጨምሮ ሀይለኛ ስሜቶች (ሲበዛ) – 2.5 pt

14. ንዴት (and aggression)– 2.5 pt

15. low willingness to help others --1 pt

Add your Finding In emotional Triggers (if any):

16.

17.

Grean (G) Yellow (Y) Red (R)

Habitual Trigger (3-4 day assessment or daily assessment )

Your finding in Habits to Consider and act

A1: ውጫዊ PMO ቀስቃሽ ልምምዶች

ለምንድነው ይሄን የማድረገው? ለምንድነው በሌላ ነገር ጊዜ የማላሳልፈው ?

Benchmark gradient – 0pts – 2 pts Green; 2- 3.7 Yellow; Above 3.7 Red

Date

Average

day

night

Day

night

day

night

Day

night

1. Trigger ቀስቃሽ የቴሌቪዥን ፕሮግራም (ፊልሞች፣ ማስታወቂያዎች፣ ዘፈን...) – 1.5 pt

2. Trigger ቀስቃሽ ልብወለድ ማንበብ - 4pt

3. በአየናቸውና በአነበብናቸው ላይ በማውራት ጊዜ ማሳለፍ - 2pt

Grean (G) Yellow (Y) Red (R)

A2: ውጫዊ ለPMO ድርጊቶች ምቹ ሁኔታ የሚፈጠሩ ልምምዶች

ምን እያደረኩኝ ነው? (self assessment questions)

Beyond yellow (Go through Habits to Consider &act Or go through Tips for outside activities.

Benchmark- 0-12.5 Green; 15-19 Yellow; Above 20 –red

Date

Average

PO Trap, the Psychological Hijack (sign of anticipation)

RATIONALIZING –The mind Monologue- The sleazy sales person (Justification of the mind) -- Weapons of the mind

day

night

Day

night

day

night

Day

night

1. የሚያበሳጩህ ወይም የማይመቹ ጓደኞች ጋር አብዝቶ ጊዜ ማሳለፍ የጓደኝነት ግጭት ፣መጣላት – 2.5 pt

በPO ትንሽ እንኳ ፈታ በል

“ምን ያህል መጥፎ ይሆናል ሁሉም ሰው እያየ ነው የሚኖረው ምንድነው አንተ? ዝም ብለህ ፈታ በል”

“ከPO ርቀህ ቆይተሀል፣ ራስህን ትንሽ አፍታታ፣ ቢያንስ ያለ MO ትንሽ P ተመልከት… በቃ ፎቶዎች ብቻ ሌላው ይቅርና ይሄ የመጨረሻ ነው፣ ሌላ አላይም አንድ ቪዲዮ ብቻ አይጎዳኝም፡፡”

“በዚህ ወር 3 ወይም 4 ጊዜ አይቻለሁ አሁንም ልይና ከሚቀጥለው ወር (ወይም ሳምንት) ጀምሮ ሙሉ ለሙሉ አቆማለሁ”

“This will take my mind off things. It’s the only way I can feel good. Why am I putting myself through pain, why can’t I let myself just live, and don’t I deserve that treat? (asking ‘more of’ philosophical question)”

This will make the urge stop. Only this will make the pain go away. I need it to think clearly.

I’m afraid of life without it. I’m not strong enough to quit. Some people can’t be cured or don’t have the willpower. The urge will always be there, so I should just give up and keep using.

I can control it without getting carried away. If I don’t watch the hardcore stuff, then it’s okay. I’ll do it less and less until I quit.

I already started, I can’t leave it.

If no one knows about it, it’s okay. No one’s getting hurt if it’s just me involved. As long as no one else is suffering but me, I can handle it.

I can quit when I’m older and stronger. I’ll wait until I have a boyfriend/girlfriend to quit.

It’s perfectly natural. Others do it so it must be okay.

I’m the problem, not what I’m doing. There’s nothing wrong with MA. PO and MA and X are tools meant to be used.

I don’t have to watch PO, I can just MB (and vice versa). I can MB if I don’t fantasize.

If I do all this stuff with my boyfriend/girlfriend instead, then it’s okay.

I’ll always be lonely. No one else cares so why should I? This is what I want, so this is okay. This is what I am and I should accept it. I don’t need boundaries in X. There is no responsibility in Xuality. As long as it’s consensual, it doesn’t matter what I do or how I think

Why is it too hard to stop PO? Why is it that bad to watch PO? …

Add Your own mind Monologue:

2. ለብቻ ብዙ ጊዜ በማሳለፍ ከሰዎች ጋር አለመነጋገር ፤ ራስን መነጠል -– 3 pt

3. በትርፍ ጊዜ ድብርት – 4 pt

4. መዋሸት፣ ሚስጥራዊ መሆን (Secretiveness) and feeling no one really knows me well – 1.5 pt

5. ቀንህ በዋዛ ፈዛዛ (Idol ሆኖ) ማሳለፍ – 2 pt

6. የአልኮል ሀንጎቨር – 1.5 pt

7. በቂ የእረፍት እና የእንቅስቃሴ በቀን አለማድረግ – 1.5 pt

8. ቁሳውነት (በተላይ በቴክኖሎጂ ጋጀቶች ላይ ትኩረት እና ጊዜ ማጥፋት and ኢንተርኔትን ለብቻ ተተክሎ ለአዲስ ነገር እና ጊዜ ማሳለፊያ ማሰስ (Surfing) – 2.5 pt

9. በትምህርት (ወይም በስራ) ለረጅም ጊዜ ተወጥሮ የማሳለፍ ልምድ ስራ ወይም ጥናት በማብዛት መጨናነቅ፣– 3 pt

10. ሀሳብ መበታተን (Esp. multitasking) – 2 pt

11. ወሲብ ቀስቃሽ ምግቦች እና መጠጦችን ማዘውተር (Aphrodisac intakes ኦቾሎኒ፣ ቃሪያ ን ሚያቃጥሉ ዘሮች፣ ቸኮሎት.፣ ወይን ፣ fast foods) – 4 pt

12. being unhappy doing so many things alone. – 3 pt

13. Lacking people understanding you– 2 pt

14. Waiting for people to call or write. – 2 pt

15. Leading social relationships that are superficial. – 2 pt

16.

17.

Grean (G) Yellow (Y) Red (R)

Between Yellow and Red: Go through this Self-awareness actions

STEP BY STEP GUIDE FOR URGE

Tips for outside activities

Keep a rubber band around your wrist and every time you start to entertain a thought or fantasy that triggers you, snap the rubber band on your wrist to induce sting. This will startle you.

FINALLY Clap your hands and say “priority!” to startle yourself to action.

(Compulsivity is about unhealthy priority)

Postpone TEMPTATION and set 15 minutes.

Start listening to yourself talk, observe what your mind does. Pay attention. Just sit still (mentally) and watch and listen. Temptation Takes about 2 seconds but can Usually linger MORE THAN 5 MINUTES. Breathe, and let it pass. Be more aware of your body & MIND!

Pay attention to your muscle tension/breathing…SEE HOW YOUR PULSE RATE CHANGE.

Keep relaxed and Not holding your breath. – Perform Controlled Breathing Exercise.

Simply, breathe in for 7-10 seconds, hold your breath for 7-10 seconds, and breathe out for 7-10 second. Repeat it

Picture yourself having just fapped, with your pants around your ankles feeling the regret and sadness you always feel at such times. (2-3 minutes)

Get up and flash your head and face with Cold water. Drink cool water.

ከዛም ወደ ፑሽ አፕ መሄድ ትኩረትህን በመቀየር ወደ እንቅስቃሴ ሙድ ውስጥ ይከትሀል፡፡

Also try -- Stand upright, with a good posture. Now looking straight up (of course no strain here, just look directly on the ceiling above you). Now stand on one foot and close your eyes. Hold this for a minute or so.

Watch gross surgery videos (5 MINUTES) AS YOU CONSIDER ‘Tips for outside activities’

a. Go to public place (Like café, where people can DEFINITELY see you) and read some of this pages.

b. Read a book outside in public places and also take a puzzle to solve if you can get any. Write a poem.

c. Do a crossword puzzle in public places

d. Go for a walk. Listen to your favorite music.

e. Go to the store or supermarket and buy with the cash you saved from not buying PO.

f. Go to the movies and theaters. “ሳቅ እና ዘና ማለት ከመወስወስ እና ከከባድ ስሜት ያወጣሀል”

g. Call a friend and meet up or go to your local youth center and play with them

h. Help Fellow with whatever you can do. Giving time to others can further improve feelings of accomplishment

i. wear clothes you never knew you had in closet. Floss and brush your teeth. Put some perfume on. Chew gum. And go outside with the confidence. (the Xual energy you have is undeniable.)

j. Play with Silly putty outside in public places. Get a camera, and take some pictures too.

k. Read some of the PMO stories outside in public places that you don’t take the risk to open any PMO content.

l. Use social media to read and post in public places.

m. Take a day trip. Visit parks. Or visit museums or photo exhibition, exploring a new area, wander around

n. Run in places. Ride a bike.

o. Go shopping for something that interests you.

p. Think of something positive for every negative thought. Fill your mind with something uplifting when you catch an unpleasant thought creeping onto the stage of your mind. Maybe you can sing a favorite song to yourself, or recite an inspiring poem, scripture or quote

q. Spend quality time with family. Be intentional about spending appropriate time with your family/household…

r. Take a walk in nature. Watch the sun set.

s. Donate blood

t. Write a list of things you are grateful for. የምስጋና ስሜት ውስጥ በቶሎ መግባት እና መልካም ነገሮችን በመቁጠር ፈጣሪን ማመስገን ውስዋስን (Craving) እንዳይቀጥል አስተዋጽኦ አለው፡፡

u. Play games (like chess or video gaming in group)

v. Visit someone (give your time)

w. Go to nearby humanitarian organization and see what you can contribute. visit the homeless, take some food and hear their stories

x. Go people watching—ሰው የሚበዛበት አካባቢ ቁጭ ብለህ ሰዎችን በመመልከት (መታዘብ፣ ታሪካቸውን መፈጠር…)

Options of Loose-Leash (find things that you are eager to do or have at any time) and journal them here
Example: Meeting friends hanging out	video gaming with friends	Eating your favorite food/drink

WARNING: OPENING ANY PORN RELATED CONTENT EVEN THE SLIGHTST OF IT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD TAKE TIME. DON'T LET IT CLAIM YOUR LIFE BY SAVING IT FOR YOUR PRIVATE PLACE/LIFE (AND ACTING ON IT.) NEVER IDIOLIZE PORN CONTENT. IT IS THE REALLY CHEAP THING. THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT EVEN GIVE YOUR PRIORITY TO.

IDIOLIZING PORN (BY SAVING IT FOR YOUR PRIVATE PLACE/LIFE) IS THE WOREST THING YOU CAN DO.

“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.”― Napoleon Bonaparte

IF YOU ARE IN ANY DOUBT WEATHER YOU ARE UNDER IMPULSIVENESS OR NOT ASK THIS QUESTIONS:

Will acting on this temptation bring me long-term satisfaction or instant gratification?

What will be the end result if I act on this temptation? will it make my life better or worse?

Is there a part of me that wants to walk away from this?

Can I choose to follow that part that wants to walk away?

Is the urge forcing me to act out against my will?

Do I really take 100% responsibility for my own actions or do I blame others and make excuses?

Would I feel better about myself tomorrow if I didn’t act out today? Will I honor the rational part of my brain that is encouraging me to walk away from this temptation?

The fact is that all urges die down eventually.

In order to make a true transition to health, the key will be found in their ability to move past the initial stages of recovery and begin to adopt healthy life management skills that will allow them to achieve emotional maturity.

At this point, you will be OK with the idea that you will never watch porn ever again in your life.

Our viewpoints on sexuality have been heavily shaped by fiction and misinformation. From porn, to growing up around people who didn’t know the facts, to examples from the media (by media, I mean novels, movies, games, you name it). We took lessons on reality from fantasy and look where it got us.

Our biggest sexual organ rests between our ears. Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. Mix in the anxiety and excitement of using the forbidden, the fear of being caught, and even secrecy, and the brain learns even faster during these intense emotional bursts. you don't want to associate this feelings with Porn watching.

With each repetition ensure future cravings. Instead of bonding to a real mate, the porn viewer’s brain “bonds” to the image, video, or situation, especially when the activity is reinforced through repetition. They become the automatic pathway through which “interactions with women” are routed in the effect of psychological hijack.

We’ve been spoiled by porn. It made us to believe that we should be there having lots of orgasm with different women. It made us to believe that this is the key to happiness and fulfillment.

In western culture, what makes sex good is that they are promised it satisfies a craving, a physical craving. This approach to sex offers an immediate feeling of satisfaction but it can’t last; it quickly dissipates, leaving greater craving. In their culture they are taught that variety is what makes sex good. The idea of having sex with their life partner seems boring to them and tend to loose big part of relationship life.

Research shows that people who have consistent sex inside of a marriage — emotionally connected sex — have the best sexual satisfaction. The person that has the most sexual partners has the least level of sexual satisfaction as adult.

As one man notes:

Sex and love were separate in my head... I just never knew it. Porn taught me this. … Hundreds of women... some I'd never even find attractive but their slight differences was novelty enough.

ኢንተርኔት ላይ ነጭ የሽርሙጥና ገበያ ወጥመድ ውስጥ መግባት የወረደ ነገር እንደሆነ አስብ፡፡ You can search - John McAfee: "You are immediately infected with KEYSTROKE LOGGING SOFTWARE" - on YouTube for better understanding.

Porn is sex what looking at a photograph of a Ferrari is to driving one. ለመኪና የምትወደውን ፎቶዎች ማየት እንደመንዳት እንደማይሆን ሁሉ ፓርን ማየትም ለግብረ ስጋ ግንኙነት እንደዛው ነው፡፡

Binging on porn feels like a promise of pleasure, but recall that the message of dopamine isn't ‘satisfaction’. It's, ‘keep going, satisfaction is j-u-s-t around the corner’

Because of neural plasticity our brains and our sexuality are molded by our experiences, interactions, and other means of learning. with more exploration the brain adds more containers found to be exciting, even things a person once found disgusting. As overconsumption leads to desensitization, the brain seeks more dopamine via novelty, shock, forbidden content, kink, seeking,etc. ፓርን በዙሪያችን ያለውን የትዳር እድሎች በቂ ወይም አርኪ እንዳልሆነ አድርጎ ነው የሚስልብህ::

በዚህ ምክንያት ከሴት ጋር ካለህ ግንኙነት ይልቅ ፓርን/ሴጋን በቀላሉ ትመርጣለህ፡፡ According to 2007 study mere explosive to numerous sexy female image causes a man to devalue his real-life partner. He rates her lower not only on attractiveness, but also on warmth & intelligence. በፖርን የተጠመደ ሰው ለጥቃቅን እና በዙሪያው ለሚታዩ አማላይ መልእክቶች ይደነዝዛል፡፡ በዚህም ምክንያት ከሴቶች ጋር ያለው ቅርርብ የቀዘቀዘ የሚሆነው (weak flirtation)::

But the satisfying system is left starving for the real thing, which includes actual touching, kissing, caressing, and a connection not only with the body but also the mind and soul. Porn encourages selfishness rather than an exchange of intimacy. teaches that women are objects for their lust, but real sex is intended for intimacy. trains men to be consumers, to treat sex as a commodity, to think about sex as something on-tap and made-to-order.

ፓርን የእርካታ መስመርን ወዲያው እንድታልፍ እና ከትክክለኛው ወሲብ ልምምድ ውጪ እንድትሆን ያደርግሀል፡፡ (Inability to delayed gratification) you teach your mind that when you’re hard your job is to cum quickly & not enjoy the interim sensation.

In fact, A man who masturbates frequently can soon develop erection problems when he's with his partner. Add porn to the mix, and he can become unable to have sex… A penis that has grown accustomed to a particular kind of sensation leading to rapid ejaculation will not work the same way when it's aroused differently. Orgasm is delayed or doesn't happen at all.

One rebooter said:

My penis was used to getting hard only when it was stimulated with a dry, extremely forceful hand and unrealistic porn-based fantasies. No wonder I've always had trouble with intercourse… I think that was also part of the reason why I couldn't maintain erections in the past during sex.

Also the act of masturbating can hurt your dick and make it sore, especially if your grip is as good as mine. After a good binge I think the orgasm muscle round the prostate gets tired and sore. Well mine has in the past. Semen is acidic so can irritate your pipes.

Too frequent or perhaps too intense an ejaculation can cause your pelvic floor muscles to tighten too much putting too much pressure on genitals, impinging blood flow and causing aches and pains. Pelvic pain is sometimes the price paid for using compulsive orgasm to fight depression or anxiety. This disappearance of anxiety or depression after orgasm is almost always short-lived. When the frequency and level of intense contraction of these muscles is sustained beyond a certain point, the chronic pelvic pain may be triggered.

Fapping without porn leaves you depleted of energy and motivation for a day, Porn without fapping leaves you desperate for higher stimulation/novelty. Combining the two you get a double dose of effect.

One guy said:

Often thinking about how unfair life was with me. Angry and remorseful. Resentful. I was sad 90% of my time.

I was constantly crabby living on a porn infused high which affected the people I loved

Another guy noted:

`It has the potential to be far more destructive to your appreciation for the real thing than ever before. At the peak of my porn use, orgasm ceased to feel good anymore.

Here’s how most people get laid in real life:

A guy meets a girl he finds attractive, so he asks her out. They get to know each other. Then they continue to go out and form some sort of relationship. Then after some months the relationship either becomes serious or falls apart.

Some days your girl will look sexy, other days not so much. Some days she'll be in the mood, other days she won't. Some days you'll struggle to keep it hard, other days you'll cum too fast. She might be able to achieve orgasms, or she might not. You will start to view sex in terms of intimacy and connecting with another person. I would also like to add that relationships are about sharing your life with another person. It go much more deeper than sex. Sex is the culmination and expression of our closest human connection. sex is an expression of “oneness,” not emotional detachment, Returning to our spouse to be intoxicated with love.

Accepting this can be difficult with your super-stimulated mind.

Dr. Doidge writes. “When a couple go on a romantic vacation or try new activities together, or wear new kinds of clothing, or surprise each other, they are using novelty to turn on the pleasure centers, so that everything they experience, including each other, excites and pleases them.” Many couples have forgotten how to play and have fun together. It’s unique to each couple but it has a lot to do with giving and sharing.

That’s the real world where satisfied couple live. As you adopt to this reality, you Renew your minds towards your spouses, choosing to make them your standard of attractiveness. It means returning again and again to the enjoyment of sex in marriage.

So, in preparing your road to recovery, you will need to prepare yourself for a time when you might feel empty inside. It will come after the euphoria of beginning your recovery, and it will come after you have put an end to your desire to continue your life the way that it is. This period may last a few days, it may last a few weeks. Rarely, will it ever last longer than that. And in those few weeks, your goal will be to recognize this emptiness, and begin to fill it with the values and the dreams that you believe in. “

identify both your weak spots and triggers that set the habit cycle in motion. Every addict has some feelings, thoughts or experiences that preceded acting out. You learn to associate sexual arousal with specific stimuli, writes Dr. Norman Doidge in The Brain That Changes Itself. With repetition the brain responds not only to the initial stimulus but also to related stimuli. Identify yours and find ways to minimize them or to react differently to them. Emotional responses like sadness or loneliness, or even boredom, are often triggers for pornography use. Address these issues directly, rather than avoiding them. For example, it can be your triggers is boredom, or your trigger can be rejection… Becoming more knowledgeable on your emotions can help you live a healthier lifestyle and improve your overall mindset. Having a strong why (reason) can overcome almost any how (condition).

If you are feeling isolated and alone, I would encourage you to take the quiz.

Get a piece of paper and pen and log your answers. You’ll respond with O, S, R, or N.

Here is what those options mean: O indicates “I often feel this way,” S indicates “I sometimes feel this way,” R indicates “I rarely feel this way,” and N indicates “I never feel this way.”

1.       I am unhappy doing so many things alone.

2.       I have nobody to talk to.

3.       I cannot tolerate being so alone.

4.       I lack companionship.

5.       I feel as if nobody really understands me.

6.       I find myself waiting for people to call or write.

7.       There is no one I can turn to.

8.       I am no longer close to anyone.

9.       My interests and ideas are not shared by those around me.

10.   I feel left out.

11.   I feel completely alone.

12.   I am unable to reach out and communicate with those around me.

13.   My social relationships are superficial.

14.   I feel starved for company.

15.   No one really knows me well.

16.   I feel isolated from others.

17.   I am unhappy being so withdrawn.

18.   It is difficult for me to make friends.

19.   I feel shut out and excluded by others.

20.   People are around me but not with me.

Keep scoring continuous. Here is how you’ll apply scoring: Make all O’s =3, all S’s =2, all R’s =1, and all N’s =0. A score of 43 or higher on the scale is considered lonely.

You can use fraction or average numbers to rate yourself. For example number like 2.5 if you feel it is between often and sometimes.

Feelings of isolation and loneliness in younger generations are worse than in older ones. Many doctors and organizations attribute this newfound loneliness to the increased use of technology and social media. Many people are replacing face to face interactions with scrolling, and it is hurting them. Also, Research in humans suggests that too much stimulation weakens pair bonds. And this loneliness is not just only subjective state; it also impact our bodies, our physical health. “Recent research shows that loneliness is actually a more significant predictor – by more than twofold magnitude – of early mortality compared to obesity.”

Time management helps in boredom or alternating between excessive activity and idleness.

Also Social isolation and porn reinforce each other. That is, being isolated leads to seeking escape and gratification by oneself, which can mean porn habit, which lowers self esteem and confidence, which makes one more socially anxious...and so on.

Several studies show that social anxiety is associated with low dopamine or decreased sensitivity.

Psychiatrist Norman Doidge suggests that the intense stimuli (high dopamine) of today's porn hijacks and rewires "brain real estate" that would otherwise be devoted to making social ties rewarding… Interestingly, people whose habits cause continuous over-stimulation of their reward circuitry with high dopamine—drug users, for example—often feel anxious or depressed the rest of the time...When one is anxious or depressed, socializing can feel like too much of an effort.

የራስ ገለፃህ (your inner narrative) ሰው ስለ እኔ ምን ያስባል የሚል ስሜት፣ እራስህን መሆን ማፈር እና ተያያዥ (Personality complex) ካለህ ከዚህ ለመውጣት ከፖርን መውጣት የመጀመሪያ መንገድ ነው፡፡

We have a narrative in our mind that we carry around about who we are, and sometimes we have negative beliefs about ourselves. Which can culminate in depression. A healthy mind entails changing our relationship to this narrative. Not so much changing the narrative itself but changing our relationship to it so that we can look at the narrative and see it for what it is. What is this narrative? It is a constellation of thoughts.

As one guy noted:

I used to be unable to look people in the eyes. I used to purposefully hide from people I knew in public so as to avoid awkward conversation. I used to not be able to be invested in the conversation.

ብዙ ጊዜ ከሰዎች ጋር ለመነጋገር (ለመግባባት) ተጨማሪ ጥረት የሚያስፈልግህ ከሆነ፣ ፍርሀት ውስጥ የምትገባ፣ ቃላት ለመሰካት የምትቸገር ከሆነ: in your emotional life & self confidence ፖርን ተፅእኖ እያሳደረብህ ነው፡፡ሀይለኛ የጉጉት ስሜትህን በፓርን ስታቃጥለው በማህበራዊ ህይወት የሚኖርህን ተነሳሽነት በዛው እያጣኸው ትመጣለህ፡፡ በዚሁ ያልዳበረው የማህበራዊ ህይወት ወደ ብቸኝነት ህይወት እና መቆዘም ውስጥ ሊከትህ ይችላል፡፡

Another guy shares: Back in the porn days my voice was shallower and unpredictable

Connection and companionship release healthy levels of dopamine and other “feel good” neurochemicals, such as oxytocin, which help balance us. Wounds heal twice as fast with companionship as compared to isolation. Prisoners in solitary confinement often go insane. In other words, it’s normal to feel anxious or depressed when isolated. …Did you know that under normal circumstances, humans are driven more by a need for attachment than by other sources of pleasure? Connection helps reduce cortisol (the “stress hormone”) which helps balance your “primitive brain”. As Philip J. Flores tells us in Addiction as an Attachment Disorder, “Attachment is not just a good idea; it’s the law.”.

1. Stop blaming yourself.

In reality, Loneliness is not a fact. It is a feeling. Stop allowing your brain to process your feelings with prior situations. For example, if you are trying to make sense of feeling lonely, your brain may propose reasons. You might then ask yourself: “Is it because nobody loves me?” “Is it because everyone is mean?” or “Is it because I am a loser?” Instead, Read books about adopting a positive mindset, or engage in activity that helps you feel good about yourself (like random act of kindness, involving in charity group). Everyday Think of things that you are grateful for.

The struggle can damage your value (አቐምህን ይሸረሽራል):: You are moral value bearer that damage alone can get you into a psychological and emotional conflict with yourself. እያንዳንዱ ከፓርን ጋር የምታደርገው የስሜት ትግል ወደ ውድቀት፤ውድቀት ከፓርን ነፃ የሆነ ህይወት ህልም አድርጎ መውሰድን ያመጣል፡፡ ወደተንዛዛ የምክንያት ድርደራ እና የስሜት ትግል አለመግባት ወሳኝ ነው፡፡

Connection refers to those qualities which nurture harmonious interpersonal relationships, qualities like appreciation, like kindness, like compassion, having a positive outlook. And the research shows that it doesn’t take much to start activating these latent qualities, which can flourish and become stronger.

Consider signing up for a class or activity you’re interested in. Some examples could be dance class, book club, hiking retreats, a small group with a church, or a painting class, volunteering. Starting a conversation with others will be easier because you’ll already have a common interest with your peers.

join a debating society, a computer programming club, learn how to start your own business, or hang out with people who want to sing, walk, run, paint, write.

The goal now is to seek your pleasure starting from interacting with real people without a screen between you, and awaken your appetite for life and love. Learning to love and consider the interest of real people is progress. Sometimes consider screen fasting. ስክሪኖችን አጥፍተህ ሌላ የምትወዳቸውን ጤናማ ልምምዶች አዳብር” አንዳንዴ ሙዚቃ እና ሬድዮ ብቻ የማመጥ ልምድ ይኑርህ፡፡

Advice from another guy: I was super shy and socially awkward from the start. Decided to change in my teens. I noted what my social weaknesses where and read articles to fix them. I realized how easy it was to become friends with people if you and they are in a place regularly like class, church, hobby groups, etc. I just make a comment or two when appropriate when we’re hanging out as a group. Others respond. And I just say hi and bye to those people from the next day. Eventually, I’m friendly with everyone there and I naturally have a bunch of people who consider me as their friends. It’s easy. And yes, I found love too. It was the most natural thing. Look for friends; not love. Everything will fall in place.

Consider displaying inspirational quotes in your workspace, around your house, or as the wallpaper on your phone.

The lesson to take is while it definitely gets easier, it never totally goes away.

I often see myself being dragged down while my brain Pushes, pulls and runs to and fro racing from one thought to another (continuous nagging to act out )

you will notice after this the brain is your real sex organ. unless you tame it (kalgrahewe), it will become out of control and you might not even be on the screen watching porn and you might not even put your hands on your private part, it will completely be running porn on itself until you explode into acting out PMO without the screen and porn video you needed. BE VERY CAREFUL OF WHAT THOUGHTS AND DESIRES YOU ENGAGE YOUR MIND IN BY ENGAGING YOURSELF IN A GOOD HABITS THAT ARE PRODUCTIVE AND FUN.

A craving first starts in your mind as an image. If you watch this carefully you will see any craving first appears as an image, whether it is a cheeseburger, hamburger, a naked body, whatever, or if you are an alcoholic, a drink.

In Dr. Gary Brooks’ book, The Centerfold Syndrome, he explains that because the women in porn are only glossy magazine pictures or pixels on the screen, they have no sexual or relational expectations of their own… cheap thrill of fantasy.

This explains pornography is just the trigger that set the mind in motion to continue its ‘cheap thrill of fantasy’. The real porn happen in your mind as you build on the pictures by fantasizing and masturbating on the images.

Fantasy can reinforce the screwed up neural circuitry that we’re attempting to undo by rebooting. Your brain doesn’t make a distinction between imagery that comes from a computer screen or inside your own mind, so running porn-like imagery through your brain is merely different from watching porn. It is in fact more tempting because of the mind remembers the emotionally burnt images that excites you even more. Plus it’s well rendered in your mind with emotional elements. As you act out on pornography, you are creating that sexual and Relational expectations with the images in your mind thus is called chip thrill of fantasy.

Somebody reflected:

masturbating to fantasy caused the same problems as using porn and I attribute this to the fact that after so much porn viewing my mind can recreate porn pretty well so basically I feel that fantasy=porn until you let your mind get back to having a healthy relationship with sex.

Therefore, you have to be very fast and see the object of the craving appear in your consciousness and make a choice to eliminate it now.

These guys tried it:

I’ve totally stopped fantasizing about porn about four weeks ago. I have a technique that works well for me. Whenever a porn flashback is entering my mind I see a big red X-mark entering my view. After that, I think of a red ambulance siren with a loud noise. If the porn image is still pushing on, I explode the image in my head, actually visualize a big explosion. That has so far eliminated any dopamine rush in my brain related to porn. The key is to be quick and I believe the technique becomes more automatic in time.

I throw the red X with a black background over it and block it. It’s actually becoming more and more automatic, and I feel significantly better emotionally when I DON’T entertain the fantasies. My red X has a black background, so that no images can get through! Sounds silly, but it works.

Do the red X your way

Another guy Shares:

My strategy has been this: Every time a thought of PMO enters my head I immediately picture myself having just fapped, with my pants around my ankles feeling the regret and sadness I always feel at such times. After 8 days of doing this, porn has lost a lot of its allure. Now whenever thoughts of watching porn pop into my head instead of telling myself “No, you will not do that!” I find myself thinking “Why the hell would I even want to to do that if its going to make me feel so bad?” Try this one out guys, it really helps.

The Rubber Band

Similar to the ‘Red X’ technique, the ‘Rubber Band’ technique can help in the same way. Keep a rubber band around your wrist and every time you start to entertain a thought or fantasy that triggers you, snap the rubber band on your wrist to induce pain. You will condition your brain to associate that trigger as being less than rewarding over time.

Destruction Visualization

“Here’s the visualization that I do when I get images and fantasy in my head: I take the image that is burned in my brain as a craving and I visualize it being destroyed, like going through a paper shredder, being burned up and then being thrown away. It has helped me out when I was conscious of the thoughts. I even had a time when I visualized and felt as if my brain was being cleaned out or emptied of all those images.”

Treat your limbic brain as some sleazy sales person who promises you the world if you take advantage of his limited-time offer.

[Another guy] Imagine the flesh on the people involved in the trigger gradually aging and rotting (like fast forwarding ages of say 80 years)

The necessary measures for Stopping Porn

Know that in every situation you find conducive to watch Porn (that can mean free and fast internet, unscheduled time and unorganized mind feeling bored and alone), you are gullible to put yourself in porn related contents. that is just the nature of your habitual self and your flesh. so let me quote some wise words from someone to learn from and he said:

"If you knowingly expose yourself to corrupting and contaminating influences then you are willingly open yourself to fall into the traps... NO ONE IN THIS WORLD IS ABOVE INFLUENCE. CUT OUT THE CATALYSTS WHICH MAY LOOK HARMLESS OR MAY SEEM INNOCENT AT FIRST GLANCE. BUT INTRODUCE YOU TO CORRUPTING INFLUENCES THAT WILL FORCE YOU INTO IMPULSIVE ACT... PRECIOUS TIME IS WASTED ON THINGS THAT HAS NO SIGNIFICNCE. WHAT WE DO NOT EAT WE SHOULD NOT EVEN SMELL."

Think of 2 or 3 set of ALTERNATIVE options that are conflicting to choose when you have the urge, immediately if you don’t act out. It should be somethings you like to do/have. Set a reasonably small (or moderate) amount of money.

When you feel the urge starting to bother, give your mind the options to choose. And make sure they are all lovely to take at any time. It can be a nice food or snack or a nice drink, a good place to go and have fun… ወይም ከጓደኞች ጋር ጌም ለመጫወት ጊዜ መስጠት ሊሆን ይችላል whatever gives you joy. (not junk or fast food and not aphrodisiac especially chocolate and wine) The idea is to give a diversion of your mind to a new choosing options as it replace the urge. A change in the battleground is progress. Have a table of things you can have if you don’t act out.

By using two or more set of options the brain understands if one is not the convenient set of option it will take the others.

Once you understands the behaviors and becomes reliable you can add a command to the behavior.

I use “READY”

If I break I can choose to clap my hands to remind myself that behavior is wrong. Clap your hands to startle yourself and say "outside." or any action you choose to do after revising the meta-awareness table.

This is attention focusing exercise that is when you reward yourself for not just breaking focus from the porn but also focusing on your long term plan. This is the next level of changing focus of life from porn.

Once you take the correct way, lavish yourself with praise. Throw a little “clean” party. You can reward yourself every time, but continue to supervise yourself and infrequently give yourself treats, praise and playtime. This is what’s called a ‘variable interval reinforcement schedule’. “Next time” might always be the occasion that produces the reward for not watching porn.

For example not all porn movie is “satisfying”, but the next movie or picture might be, so the reward are inconsistent and therefore more compelling.

Avoid scolding or punishing yourself for the wrong.

Supervising yourself is essential during the habit breaking process.

Look for signs, such as longing for beauty, mindlessly browsing at the edge of Pornographic images, and restlessness that is telling you to prioritize your time and directly shift to meta-awareness table and take ACTION.

Having a brain that desires to enjoy your company and consistently listens to you is the most important thing when it comes to trusting it off leash (on the open of temptations). Training your mind is a question of who is more persistent — you or your mind.

Inviting friends to your house to watch movie or for screen related activities. And also get used to using internet together. The idea is to bring that outside entertainment to your house and getting used to it. And also start a habit of using public internet.

Pharmaceuticals, stress and over-stimulation can alter our perception. When this occurs, our focus, priorities and even our values can shift—all without our awareness. In the case of too much stimulation, the shift is in the direction of overvaluing super-stimuli. When you give yourself permission because you have a strong urge, relapse IS automatic.

Dysfunctional stress circuits, which can make even minor stress lead to cravings and relapse because they activate powerful sensitized pathways. Stress makes relapse more likely.

the primitive appetite mechanism of the brain, the reward circuitry, has priorities set by nature: furthering survival and genetic success. It votes ‘Yes!’ for more calories or more ‘fertilization’ opportunities regardless of the potential consequences.

Punishment will not help because Primitive region will be clueless as to why he is being scolded. Your mind has orgasm hundreds of times before he met your punishing discipline. The mind will not connect the punishment.

As someone said “What I hate about porn is what I loved about it: the escape it provided from my life.” So it is paramount to be self aware.

Another one noted: Porn is the symptom.

You watch porn to escape reality. You watch porn to manage your emotions. You watch porn because you’re bored, lonely, stressed, depressed, angry, isolated. You watch porn to feel good for a moment, to replace uncomfortable emotions and situations in your life.

Today people use porn as a mood modifier. But always reaching for the Internet's "instant cure" can actually increase your symptoms. Low dopamine signaling has long suspected to be involved in depression. Recently, new research confirmed that.

One rebooter noted: Anxiety due to lack of porn is worth it over its chronic depression.

Another guy said: Quitting isn't a cure all for your life problems – but it's the foundation, a ploughed field in which you can sow seeds for a new future that isn't bedeviled by the secrecy and shame that comes with falling into the seemingly inescapable pit of porn-related despair that so many of us know. A life of hope and strength – not jizzy tissues, jealousy, bitterness, self-hatred, resentment and unfulfilled dreams.

አንድ ፓርን ማቆም የሚሰጥህ ነገር ለጉብዝናህ ትልቅ ተነሳሽነት መስጠት ነው፡፡

PMO drains your body fuel. You might know exactly what you need to do to make your life better, but you can't seem to muster the energy and focus to do it. It's not just normal energy that's lost. It's that 'go-getter energy' that has you expanding your life. የህይወት ነዳጅ የሆነውን ሀይልህን ነው የምታጣው፡፡ Pornography affects the overall vitality and vibe of yours. It can even affect your health.

You can saw seed for a new future for all the health and vitality the richness of life, time spent on so money different things worthwhile activities and the sense of achievement, sense of pride in everything you do reflected back by those who admire and love. Slowly but surely your self image will improve.

በስነ ልቦና እና በሰውነት ጠንካራ መሆን፣ህይወትህን የበለጠ መቆጣጠር እና ማስተዳደር መቻል ፣የተሻለ የራስ መተማመን እና ለራስ ክብር ይኖርሀል ፣ ቀንህ ብሩህ መሆን (you will have a better vibe and energy)፣በተሻለ ስሜት እና ኩራት ከሰዎች ጋር (በተለየ ከሴቶች) ጋር የተሻለ መነጋገር መቻል እና የመሳሰሉትን የህይወት ፍሬዎች ከፓርን (ማስተርቤሽን) ማቆም ጋር ቀጥተኛ ግንኙነት አላቸው፡፡ በወጣትነትህ፣ በአፍላነትህ ጊዜ የደበዘዘ እና ከደስታው ፀፀት፣ ሀዘን እና ምሬት የበዛበት ከሆነ ምንም አይነት መልካም ነገር ማግኘት ይከብዳል፡፡ እኛ የስሜታችን ስሪት ብሎም የስሜታችን አመራር ውጤት ነን፡፡

Thanks to the way our brains work, chronic over-stimulation fails to satisfy; it can leave a person nearly insatiable. He’ll focus on what his relationship “doesn’t offer”, not on what it does. His limbic brain has him firmly convinced that only his drug of choice will restore his good feeling.

Primitive region of the brain colors how we see the world. When it’s in balance we tend to see things with greater clarity and optimism. When it’s out of balance our impressions are often distorted.

- Our brains instinct is to strive for homeostasis. There is natural downward spiral of brain sensitivity in response to excess. Chronic overstimulation can thus lead to numbness. By the same token, removing the overstimulation feels rotten at first (because daily life seems even more dull and meaningless) ለምሳሌ የሥሜት መወጣጠር፣ የህይወት ትርጉም ማጣት እና ቀለም ማጣት፣ ዋጋ ቢስነት… but gradually the numbness reverses itself. Colors return and enthusiasm increases.

One guy explained:“Porn, at its core, is much like any other addictive substance or behavior. It DOES numb your pain, but therein lies the problem. You see, you can’t selectively numb an emotion or feeling without numbing every other emotion and feeling. So even though these things dull the sting of vulnerability, loneliness, sadness, disappointment and fear, they also dull the positive range of emotions like happiness, hope, joy and love.”
It's confusing to sort out true libido (the "urge to merge") from addictive cravings ("I must get off or die"). And today's overstimulation is throwing a lot of guys into the latter category. The same sensitivity that urges us to fall in love becomes vulnerability when we’re saturated with hyper stimulating sexual overdrive. …It can make a mate uninteresting, and override our normal satiation mechanisms. በአይምሮህ ላይ እየተጫወተ ጊዜ የማሳለፍ ልምድ ነው፡፡ Internet porn hijack the brain circuitry that is there to give us rewarding feelings for pairing up and sexing one another.… Because excessive dopamine can numb the brain, the stimulation of Internet porn can increase dissatisfaction—even though “looking” always gives you a rush. You are likely to feel that you just want “space,” and extreme stimuli.
You should focus on learning how to live, how to manage your emotions, how to change the way you think and view the world. One fellow said: An ignorant ‘addict’ is a committed ‘addict’.
You put all your energy into building the life you want.
Write a life vision for yourself
How do you envision your life a few weeks, months, or years from now? Brainstorm. Close your eyes. Visualize it. Write it down. Create a schedule for yourself. Keep yourself occupied by trying to fill as many hours of your day as possible. Make the schedule as soon as you wake up, so you know that there will be no time in your day for porn.
Robust and powerful evidence shows that writing down your aims and goals, with clear steps for how to achieve them, gives your brain a framework and focus.
If you don’t know what you want in life, then this can be a more serious issue than porn ‘addiction’ itself. This loss is not simply a subjective quality but also exacts a toll on our health and other aspects of our well-being. Research shows that a lack of purpose predicts an early death. How To Find Ideas For Life – on the internet can help.
We are talking about having a sense that our life is headed in a particular direction. And most importantly, it is about taking more and more of the activities in our lives as belonging to this sense of purpose… is a very crucial ingredient of a healthy mind.
Write down why you ABSOLUTELY MUST start working on it right now. A life vision is no good if you have no urgency . You’ll just keep delaying it. Waiting for circumstances to improve. Waiting for motivation to arrive. Waiting for the beginning of new year. Making promises to yourself will help set boundaries
This is what you will focus on 99% of your time from now on. Develop an indestructible belief in yourself. When successful people like Arnold Schwarzenegger decide they want to achieve something, they become completely obsessed about it. They have an indestructible belief that they will achieve it.
For example, let’s say you want to learn how to play guitar. And you have the urgency to do it, because you know it takes time, so the sooner you start the better. You have to start now.
However, after a few days of learning the basics, you start losing motivation and becoming discouraged. You realize that playing guitar is not easy at all. You feel overwhelmed by how much practice you need to put into it. You start doubting yourself and thinking “There’s no way I’ll ever become a great guitar player and form my own band “. Friends tell you things like “ Dude, you should’ve started years ago. All great guitarists started when they were young “.
So you quit.
Uncertainty is what kills people. Not knowing if they’re able to achieve it. We need to brainwash ourselves every day into believing that we WILL do it NO MATTER WHAT . …“Can’t,” is a convenient excuse for a lack of patience, perseverance, and hard work… “Believe, achieve, succeed.” Positive thinking often begins with positive self-talk or unspoken thoughts that are optimistic in the face of challenges. Positive thinking lowers rates of depression and distress and improves coping skills during times of hardship or stress. በህይወትህ ምሳሌ የሆነ ሰው ካለህ “እርሱ በዚህ ቦታ (ጊዜ) ምን ያደርግ ነበር?” ብሎ ማሰብ መልካም ነው፡፡
All of these steps are important. They are the foundation of your reboot.
When you start to change your Pornographic mindset, and have a focused and productive lifestyle porn will start to loose its grip. Many people quit porn only to find themselves in this life emptiness that is very hard to handle. Then they go back to porn precisely because this void is too much for them. For change “ The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new .” – Socrates
It’s important that you think in terms of life vision and pursuing your dreams, not in terms of “I have to get busy and fill my life with activities so that I don’t watch porn “. This is something you’re doing for yourself. This journey is about your life.

አይምሮህ ትኩረት በሰጠህበት ነገሮች ላይ እርካታ ይፈልጋል፡፡ በሌሎች ነገሮች ላይ ትኩረት ስትሰጥ በነዚያ ነገሮች ውስጥ ደስታ እና ትርጉም ለማግኘት ትሞክራለህ፡፡”
Training is a learning process. Rebooting can be a challenge, You are like a man setting out to climb a tall mountain you have never walked before. At first it will seem impossible, but as you walk a little bit more each day, your muscles, i.e., your willpower, will grow and it will become natural.
forgive yourself if you slip, and keep going until you get where you want to be.
research with mice suggests that exercise might strengthen a drug user’s resolve by altering the production of peptides in the brain.
When we have urges to eat something we know is bad for us, we often give in. But is it that simple? The truth is that our mind is actually rationalizing why we should just eat that cake, why it’s too hard to not eat it, why it isn’t that bad to eat it. It asks why we’re putting ourselves through pain, why can’t we let ourselves just live, and don’t we deserve that treat?
All of this happens without our noticing, usually. It’s quiet, in the background of our consciousness, but it’s there. And it’s incredibly powerful. It’s even more powerful when we’re not aware it’s happening.
Awareness is the key. It’s the start. Pay attention to your muscle tension/breathing… keeping relaxed and Not holding your breath.

One who knows how to breath controls everything. WE WILL LOOK AT BREATHING THECNIQUE WE HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND.

Start listening to your self talk, observe what your mind does. Pay attention. Just sit still (mentally) and watch and listen. Usually it only lasts a minute or two. Breath, and let it pass. Look at it as a sacrifice of a minute or two, that will give you invaluable understanding of your thought process and to withdraw from pain and guilt that stays much longer.
If you have not decided to stop fapping then prepare to lose your manliness. When you fap then your sex life is watching other people fuck. This trains your brain to be a beta male. People can sense you are a beta male if you fap. It show out.
porn kills your pride, porn kills your manhood. It is basically trying to self medicate your anxiety, your sleeplessness, depression. All your sexual energy that you didn’t act out will be reflected in your social life and other part of your life with liveliness, attentiveness and more. Think about it and decide to re-invest this energy unto yourself for positive things- work, play, relationships, etc.
ይህን ለውጥ ስትሰራ ከተቃራኒ ፆታ ጋር ያለህን ግንኙነትም ለውጥ ታገኝበታለህ፡፡ (Women respond to a strong sexual spirit (Mojo))
Realize risks! They include lack of physical activity, risk taking, poor relationships, aggression, low willingness to help to others, alcohol and drug abuse, stress, tiredness and mental problems. Emotional responses like sadness or loneliness, or even boredom, are often triggers for pornography use. Having a support system or safe people to contact in these moments can help.
If you can't climax easily without porn and/or vigorous friction, then your horniness is not true libido; it's your "addict brain" screaming nonsense. You can tell if you regained your sexual energy.
ON Desensitization
As biologist Robert Sapolsky explained in Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers :
Unnaturally strong explosions of synthetic experience and sensation and pleasure evoke unnaturally strong degrees of habituation. This has two consequences. As the first, soon we hardly notice anymore the fleeting whispers of pleasure caused by for example leaves in autumn, or by the lingering glance of the right person, or by the promise of reward that will come after a long, difficult, and worthy task. The other consequence is that, after awhile, we even habituate to those artificial deluges of intensity. … Our tragedy is that we just become hungrier.
You are not able to feel subtle pleasure due to overstimulated, blunted brain sensitivity.
Things to consider Instead of Fapping to Porn
Stay off the computer or phone except for a dedicated task like banking, work, school work, email, texting, checking nofap, checking the news, etc. and then log out.
I recommend to not have internet access on your phone at all. If you have to use internet write your internet needs on a to-do list and find time to use public internet. That way you will have more organized lifestyle. Adopting the good old way is much better than having a miserable days in your youth.

I used a phone called HUAWEI Y530-U00. I BOUGHT IT FOR 2,500 BIRR. I used it basically to open PDF files and radio and check telegram messages and facebook. i did not setup the mobile data to not have internet at the tip of my finger. it only connect to wifi that is strong and since the battery life and the processor are not very good you cant easily open videos or high quality pictures and watch comfortably.

if you are having struggle with porn using on your phone i advice you to consider this or similar old model as a substitute, not that by changing phone you are completely safe but it is a necessary precautious measure to take.
It seems that the battle to overcome porn is a battle between the rational, planning functions and the more emotional, reactive parts of the brain.
Someone shares his experience:
Before you turn on your computer/phone, write everything you need to do on to small post-it notes. Stick them to the top. As you do each job unpeel them and stick them on to another surface. Not only do you get all your work done but you also get the satisfaction of seeing your list diminish. you still have a visual record of what you have accomplished.
I find it very motivating and when I use it I am very productive and positive. The added benefit is that I am less likely to procrastinate and watch porn sites.
Avoid closed spaces and time alone on the computer. Live your phone with your family or friends if it is possible (and necessary). Take your screen time appropriately. Spending too much time on screen with no plan is not advised. Engage your mind with different interests. That is part of what it means to be a gentleman. Don’t have idle mind. Enroll yourself in different activities that you believe in. And give It your whole heart. Also you can have a flirtatious time with girls at your designated free time with your friends.
Other guy shares his experience:
I made up my mind that anytime I was going to work on math it would be at my school’s computer, or if I can’t at a Starbucks with my laptop. Another thing I did to avoid computer time and to focus more on my goals is disable my Facebook account! Let me tell you guys, this helps immensely with your focus. I no longer care to look at status updates, pictures (of girls which can trigger), comments on my status updates or pictures. Basically all my energy and attention goes somewhere else.
Be more aware of your body! Cherish your eyes, wrists, spine, etc. and compensate their strain!
Even during work with PC, breath deeply into your abdomen!
If you are urging stay off the computer or phone completely. Do not mindlessly surf the web because you will eventually click on a trigger.
Guy said:
Do ANY type of activity. Call a friend. That’s pretty helpful. Text a friend. Go for a short walk. Hit the coffee shop and people watch or read a book you enjoy. Work with yourself. If you’re not already accustomed to socializing, then take it slow. You might not always be able to socialize, but you can always just be around people – go to a public place, window shop…
Advice from a female forum member:
Have you thought about joining a class or group where you have the theme of the class in common with the people attending? It may help to avoid the awkwardness of starting a conversation from scratch. Classes like physical exercise, singing, dance…
Becoming a “regular” at certain places of business, i.e. bank branch, supermarket, coffee shop, post office, can help you practice social interactions that make it easier to chat with strangers who become friendly acquaintances.
Someone said:
Actually believing that one is a likeable person (high perceived self-likability) will result in people one interacts with liking them, having more respect for them, more trust, etc.
Think of at least three activities you can do before choosing addictive behavior. Change your hobbies in “priority one” mode ALL the time. Make it the default go-to activity. When the urge to look strikes, stall for time. Tell yourself that you won’t look for at least 15 minutes, and immediately distract yourself by turning your attention to a selected alternative activity. Human beings cannot sustain any emotion or feelings indefinitely, and eventually any feeling or craving will decrease or overpower us. በስሜት ውስዋስ እየደነዘዝክ ነው ያለኸው፡፡ ስለዚህ ወዲያው ተነስተህ ማድረግ ያለብህን ማንኛውንም ተግባር መውሰድ አለብህ፡፡
Suppose you are in a leaking boat. You are lounging on deck as the water seeps in a few bucketful an hour. No problem. Any fool can ignore that. Hour after hour you continue to snooze until you suddenly find yourself plunging towards the ocean floor. You then clear the water furiously but it’s too late. The disaster was not the product of some momentary weakness or inexplicable lapse the last five seconds. It was all so avoidable, if only the danger had been taken seriously. We have to start the “fight” against temptation by resisting the urge to do things that seem so harmless & so far from our real weakness. በሀሳብ መባከን እና ልቦናህ ስለ ፓርን ሀሳብ ማሰላሰል ስትጀምር እንደ አላርም ሊያነቃህ ይገባል፡፡ ትንሹን ወደ ስሜት የሚያመራ መስመር ልትታገሰው አይገባም፡፡

TO-DO LIST should always be on your desktop (if you are using PC) OR ON YOUR PHONE. SCEEN RIGHT AT THE FRONT. THIS HELP ALWAYS TO REFOCUS YOUR SELF AND. TO MANAGE YOUR INTERNET TIME. YOU WILL BE LISTING ALL THE THINGS YOU. NEED TO DO BEORE YOU FIND INTERNET CONNECTION AND THEN WHEN YOU. ARE ON THE INTERNET YOU WILL KNOW THE BULET POINTS TO FOCUS ON. DIRECTLY. AND IF ANY THOUGHT SNEAK AT THE BACK OF YOUR MIND THAT WANT TO TAKE YOU TO YOU BAD HABIT. DONT JUST BLOCK IT BUT PUT UT AT THE END OF YOUR TO-DO LIST AFTER YOUR POINT OUT -SHORT REVISION OF META AWARENESS TABLE

I suggest to have some of gross surgery videos downloaded in your PC and phone. Even if you try to sneak into porn, tell yourself, right after you watch the gross surgery video and you do your “hobby”. First things first. And postpone your porn watching. የሚያቅለሸልሽ፣ የሚያስጠሉ ፎቶዎች ማየት ከወሲብ ስሜት ለመውጣት ይጠቅማል፡፡

Go to public place (where people can DEFINITELY see you) and read some of this pages; Your rationalization, questions to ask yourself… are some of the things to consider.

Take note that eventually some find a recovery forum can itself become a way to avoid real life. At that point, some choose to check a forum only when they need encouragement.

List of Things to Consider:

0. Go out to your favorite Café.
1. Read a book outside in public places and also take a puzzle to solve if you can get any. Write a poem.
2. Do a crossword puzzle in public places
3. Wash the dog with someone, Feed the dog. Build a dog house. Play with the family pet.
4. Go for a walk. Listen to your favorite music.
5. ከትልቅ ሰዎች (ከአባቶች እና አያቶች) ጋር ጊዜ ማሳለፍ ቢሆን እንኳ አትስነፍ Beyond regulating mood and human connection ጥሩ ታሪክ እና ከጊዜ የተማሩት ነገሮችን ብዙ ትወስዳለህ፡፡
6. Go to the store or supermarket and buy with the cash you saved from not buying porn.
7. Try out a new hair-do
8. Go to the movies and theaters. “ሳቅ እና ዘና ማለት ከመወስወስ እና ከከባድ ስሜት ያወጣሀል”
9. Plant some flowers or do some gardening with somebody
10. Breath deeply all the way in and out! And drink some cold water. BREATHING INSTRUCTION IS GIVEN BELOW AND IS VITAL
11..Go to the gym/Jump on a treadmill.
12. Do some exercise outdoors. Join some workout or just football team if you find nearby. Finish your exercises regime of the day (like 30 minutes of running)
13. Call a friend and meet up or go to your local youth center and play with them
14. Help Fellow with whatever you can do. Giving time to others can further improve feelings of accomplishment.
15. wear clothes you never knew you had in closet. Floss and brush your teeth. Put some perfume on. Chew gum. And go outside with the confidence.
16. Spend time with a kid.
17. Walk to an old graveyard together with someone, to remember your relative
18. Take up a new hobby/interest – channel your thoughts into something constructive and interesting.
19. Sing loud & Whistle.
20. Play with Silly putty outside in public places. Get a camera, and take some pictures too.
21. Read some of the PMO stories outside in public places that you don’t take the risk to open any Pornographic content.
22. Learn something new (a language, a musical instrument, cooking...)
23. Give someone you love a huge hug.
24. Using social media to read and post in public places.
25.Clean out a messy drawer.
26. Take a day trip. Visit parks. Or visit museums or photo exhibition
27. Run in places. Ride a bike
28. Go shopping for something that interests you.
29. think of something positive for every negative thought. Fill your mind with something uplifting when you catch an unpleasant thought creeping onto the stage of your mind. Maybe you can sing a favorite song to yourself, or recite an inspiring poem, scripture or quote
30. Spend quality time with family. Be intentional about spending appropriate time with your family/household…
31. Learn to cook something. (possibly with someone)
32. Clean the basement or garage with someone and arrange your home. You will make your parents happy
34. Take a walk in nature. Watch the sun set.
35. Listen to radio
36. Donate blood
37. Write a list of things you are grateful for. የምስጋና ስሜት ውስጥ በቶሎ መግባት እና መልካም ነገሮችን በመቁጠር ፈጣሪን ማመስገን ውስዋስን (Craving) እንዳይቀጥል አስተዋጽኦ አለው፡፡
38. Play games (like chess or video gaming in group)
39. Exploring a new area, wander around
40. Involve in a class. For example learning new language.
41. Visit someone (give your time)
42. try to do at least one ‘random act of kindness’ each day for a complete stranger.
43. -Plan to volunteer and travel
44. Go to nearby humanitarian organization and see what you can contribute.
45.visit the homeless, take some food and hear their stories
46. Go people watching—ሰው የሚበዛበት አካባቢ ቁጭ ብለህ ሰዎችን በመመልከት (መታዘብ፣ ታሪካቸውን መፈጠር…)

47. Visit nearby colleges or universities for any upcoming events.

If you have so much time think of the responsibilities you can take. ለምሳሌ ልጆችን ማስጠናት፡፡

ምንም እንኳን ስሜታችን እይታችን ላይ ተፅዕኖ ቢኖረው ትኩረት የምናደርገውን ነገር መምረጥ ግን እንችላለን፡፡ ከፓርን እያገገምክ ባለበት ወቅት የሚኖርህ ከፍተኛ የወሲብ ስሜት ለፖርን ፈንታ ሌላ ማሳለፊያ እንደሚያስፈልግህ ጠቋሚ ነው፡፡ ለምሳሌ “ዛሬ የስምንቱ መጨረሻ ነው፣ ትንሽ ደብሮኛል እና ደክሞኛል ስለዚህ ቤት ብገባ እና ብቻዬን ስለምሆን walk አድርጌ ጓደኞቼን አገኛለሁ ወይም… ” በማለት ሁኔታዎችን ቀድሞ መረዳት መልካም ነው፡፡ ያልተረጋጋ ስሜት ውስጥ መሆን እና ብቸኝነት ለወሲብ ፊልም የሚጋብዝ ምቹ ሁኔታዎች ናቸው፡፡

ንዴት፣ ብቸኝነት፣ የረሀብ ስሜት እና ድካም ስሜቶችን አስወግዶ ለምሳሌ ወጣ ብለህ እረፍት መውሰዱ እና ዘና ማለት ጭንቀትን ከማስወገድ በተጨማሪ በመወስወስ በቀላሉ እንዳትረታ ያደርግሀል፡፡ ውሀ በደንብ መጠጣትም እነዚህን ስሜቶች ወዲያው ለማብረድ ይጠቅማል፡፡

Choose a response that furnishes a sense of accomplishment, connection or self-care. And Limit activities that cause 'empty' dopamine highs, such as frequent, intense video gaming, junk food, gambling, trolling Facebook, meaningless TV, and so forth.

The influence of pets or companion animals on our health and wellbeing is significant. It got them exercising, reduced their stress levels and amazingly made them laugh more, reducing anxiety and depression. In many ways owning a pet could reduce many of the triggers that lead you to view porn, as well as allowing you to care for something else in your life, which in turn will make you a better person.

Replacements work best when they are as easy as, or easier than, the old habit.

remove the pleasure part that motivated your addictive behavior. In case of porn that is the masturbation/orgasm part.

One recovering porn addict summed them up: ‘I will never get enough of what doesn’t satisfy me and it never, ever satisfies me’.

Habituation indicates declining dopamine. It is because of this numbed pleasure system that you want to go to internet porn even if you have explicit pictures or videos already.

In the past, a single image would have been enough to arouse a man who now looks at a stream of Internet pornography to maintain the same arousal, says therapist Dr. Peter Kleponis. Over time this man has neurologically attached his brain to be most aroused when viewing a wide variety of images and acts. “He conditions his brain to only really be sexually aroused to this constant parade of different women, of different sexual images,” Kleponis says.

One user said, ‘Porn goes in like a needle but comes out like a fishhook.’.

Dopamine rises sharply – especially in teens – when anticipating doing something novel or taking a risk, including doing something forbidden. It’s easy for the primitive reward circuitry of the brain to overvalue condemned activities. Since anxiety-producing material pumps up sexual arousal.

Reach out. Social time with friends is great.

Some recovering from porn noted: Spent every weekend at my parents’. Spent time with them just watching TV. I don’t normally watch TV, but being close to them helped. Plus my brother is there, so hung out with him. And last but definitely not least is the family dog. He really knows how to give affection. we’d play and cuddle. He’s a big boy.

If you are urging stay off the computer or phone completely. Go to bed only when you are about to sleep.

Get up earlier. It’s also the best time to fit in a workout. You’ll be tired by the time to go to sleep in the evening.

For more self-reports: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/what-are-the-symptoms-of-excessive-internet-porn-use/

Reading other posts and getting positive comments on blogs helps keep a person focused and motivated.

You can’t always see your benefits while quitting. But I can tell you: I bet you have some. Although you didn’t notice.

Physical cravings now are more prevalent and I deal with them by forcing myself to do something different, whether it’s get up off the computer/TV and do some housekeeping or getting out of the house… I’ve found the trick is to take any sort of action before I have a chance to start rationalizing and convincing myself that just a little bit is OK.

Here’s what I did to get better: No p, no m, no fantasies. So get some hobbies to choose from. Get something to keep your mind occupied in another way. You have to take that option away from your brain.

Keep some favorite games (like chess or video gaming in group) that stimulates like porn’s novelty/shock on the new pattern. This will help it calm down and feel comfortable in its new arrangement.

Pornography (and the mental fantasizing that it enables) crafts a brain that constantly generates testosterone and heightens sexual desire. This high testosterone level increases their sexual awareness far above normal. Sexual fantasies are sparked by everyday objects and even modestly dressed women are seen as provocative.

This means that even a casual peek can activate your brain’s old response and increase inner conflict. Resist the urge to test yourself by “just looking” to gauge how you’re doing.

avoid images, interactions, or stories online that could be seductive or titillating (but wouldn’t necessarily be considered “pornographic”).

One rebooter said:

Get organized – The main thing to do if you want to stop fantasizing is to get organized and get busy. No free time twiddling your thumbs in your room means no time to convince yourself to PMO. In other words, don’t stagnate and hang around. First off, get enough sleep. This doesn’t mean sleep for 10 hours. Sleep for 6-8. Before you go to sleep, make a to-do list of all the things you want to do tomorrow, including leisure activities. This has helped me immensely. When I wake up, I don’t want to think about all the things I have/want to do that day, so do it the night before. Don’t give yourself only 3-5 things to do either. Make it a respectably-sized list. I find I can usually do about 14 things on my list per day (writing emails, picking up dry-cleaning, picking up groceries, etc.). የየቀን ህይወትህ በተደራጀ እና በታቀደ መልክ የመኖር ልምድ ካዳበርክ ለፖርን ጊዜ እና ቦታ ታጣለህ፡፡

You need to stop medicating yourself with porn every time you feel pain and discomfort.

This is ignorance to the reality of life.

There is this damaging belief in the forum that success is measured by how many straight days you go without porn. remember that every day is Day 1 no matter how high your counter is. Take each day as if it is the first day. Stop obsessing about what day you’re on without porn. You always have to be a forward looker.

The typical rebooting advice of “Hey man, just do a 90 day reboot “ is basically useless.

Trigger-pathways sometimes stay around for a long time, even after you are otherwise fully rebooted. They do weaken. For example, an alcoholic who has been sober for 20 years may no longer be triggered by beer commercials. Yet if he drank a beer his sensitized pathways might light up causing him to lose control. Similar things happen To former porn users. They become immune to cues that were formerly risky, If they use porn again they may binge.

Guess what? If you’re thinking about not watching porn, you’re thinking about porn. Trying to abstain while at the same time fantasizing or peeking at pictures of chicks will only lead to frustration. You’re not having urges to cum. You’re having urges for a “high” and a “rush". If you feed these urges by peeking, even if it’s just pictures of hot babes in bikini, then they will invade your mind and rob you of your ability to concentrate or remain calm. Eventually “autopilot” mode will be engaged

Stay away from any kind of artificial stimulation. Basically cut out any sexually charged content. It is easy to sidetrack.

If there is any subscription or porn-oriented spam in your email. Filter and block it. Change your email address if it won’t stop. Get rid of everything on your computer/phone that is even remotely related to pornography.

I find erotic stories can be worse than porn in some ways, as it takes much longer to read a story, which can lead to very long dopamine rushes.

Try to categorize your life activities (at least mentally) into three types: 1 - Green (safe activities that won’t lead you into temptation); 2 - Yellow (dangerous behaviors that could lead to porn, such as home alone channel-surfing); 3 - Red (activities that lead directly to porn use). When you feel yourself moving into a "Yellow" zone, it is time to react: stop and find something safe to do instead

The correct approach is to be mindful about it. When urges arise, watch them mindfully. Observe them. Do not react. Do not suppress them. Do not push them away. Watching porn is not an option. It’s not a part of your life anymore. Don’t fight it with willpower. If you fight it, it gets power from us and gets stronger and stronger until one day we are too weak to fight and give up. You can’t pound this “mammalian part of your brain” into submission.

One guy said “Never open up a dialogue with these intruders. Do not interact with them either out of curiosity or out of overconfidence. It is a tactical error. It’s like starting a dialogue with an enemy who is much more clever than you. If you pay attention to an intrusive thought, you must realize that it will become increasingly bolder. It will begin to invade your mind with louder and louder noise. Do not focus on what it tells you or what it urges you to do. Shift your mental attention to something else.

One guy noted:

Even during relapses, or almost-relapses, that peeing immediately reduces the urgency of whatever you’re feeling. So even if you’ve been edging, a little, take a one minute break and pee.

Exposure and Response Prevention or ERP (Adjusted)

The key idea of this technique is to respond to this craving in a healthy way when exposed to such tempting situations. This practice allows our subconscious mind to learn a healthy response mechanism.

ERP works in the following way.

see how your pulse rate change as soon as some urge hits you, observe your body begin to respond (Be mindful of it)

Step 3 – Perform Controlled Breathing Exercise.

BREATHING INSTRUCTION

What you need to know when you are under the pressure of urge is you may "hyperventilate" which is actually CO2 deficiency and unhealthy level of oxygen because it affect your breathing. what you need to do is:

First you no longer need to breath through your mouth, start breathing through your nose.

Secondly you need to avoid breathing through your chest. you breath from your stomach you are affecting the diaphragm which is connected to the parasympathetic nervous system that will relax you.

Breath slow and relaxed way. Breath in for 4 second and breath out for 5 second.

For more on the science of this breathing (and other helpful advice) follow Dr. Eric Berg DC on Youtube.

Step 4 – Refocus yourself and follow through your prioritizing and taking actions.

Make it a habit to be aware of your heart beat rate and breathing whenever you feel any trigger anywhere. Too often we are not aware how much craving shapes our perception and thinking.

If you feel any type of strong emotion forcing you to do something, practice postponing this behavior for 10-15 minutes. Reprogram yourself and do what you are supposed to do first by using the meta cognition Table. (Compulsivity is about unhealthy priority) ቅድሚያ የምትሰጠው ነገር ለአላስፈላጊ ወይም ጭራሽ ጎጂ ነገር ነው፡፡ ስለዚህ ነው ለስሜትህ ወዲያው መልስ ከመስጠት መቆጠብ ያለብህ፡፡ You need to have a second look at your strong emotions with sane mind. By doing so, you practice your thinking brain composed response for any urge (not just porn). Make it a habit everyday.

Even when you come up with a really exciting business idea, write it down and leave it alone for a while. Come back to it the next day and see if it still looks feasible.

[Another guy] It helps a lot is to imagine her vomiting. In fact, A fraction of the women in porn are leading abused lives. You don ‘t want to contribute to the harm of another person. Pornstars face a lot of verbal abuse and some are prone to suicide and drug abuse. There are a lot of pornstars who lost their life for this cause.

ለወደፊት (ልጅ እንዳለህ አስብና) በፓርን ከቀጠልክ የወደፊት ልጅህ በምን መንገድ እንደሚጎዳ አስብ፡፡ ምን አይነት የስነ-ልቦና ቀውስ እየወረስክ እንደሆነ አስተውል፡፡

Side note: If you want to quit porn, do so because you don't like the effects and distractions, but it is mostly not advisable to try to quit because of the immorality of porn. It can really backfire.

Aversion - በምትወደው ልምድህ ዙሪያ የምትፈጥረው የጥላቻ ግንኙነት ነው፡፡ ለምሳሌ ፓርን ለማየት ስትነሳሳ የማዳመጥ ድርጊት በማድረግ ትኩረትህን መቀየር ነው፡፡ ለምሳሌ ፑሽ አፕ 30-40 ለመስራት መወሰን፡፡ እና ወዲያው በፓርን ስትፈተንና በስሜታህ ስትወሰድ ወደ ፑሽ አፕ መሄድ የመጀመሪያ ውሳኔህ ይሆናል፡፡ፑሽ አፕ ትኩረትህን በመቀየር ወደ እንቅስቃሴ ሙድ ውስጥ ይከትሀል፡፡ የፓርን ውስዋስ ደግሞ ከመጣብህ ብሬክ እየወሰድክ ለትንሽ ደቂቃ ስራ፡፡

Get up and flash your head and face with Cold water from time to time. Drink cool water. Cold showers have even been proposed as a potential medical treatment for Depression and also restoring lost willpower and increasing emotional equilibrium

Another guy recommended: Find a nonsexual Internet video, such as watching surgery, or something “gross.” Said one guy, who strongly recommended watching a “gross” video, “when you see something gross, you have no desire to do anything sexual.”

Another guy recommended: Stand upright, with a good posture. Now looking straight up (of course no strain here, just look directly on the ceiling above you). Now stand on one foot and close your eyes. Hold this for a minute or so. That sounds a little bit weird, maybe, but it offers some obvious benefits (at least for me):a) enhanced balance/coordination and therefore enhanced athleticism) you can’t help, but stay in the moment (especially kinesthetic awareness), so absolutely no room for cravings/porn thoughts) transfer meaning: struggle for balance (in your body and your brain), feeling, that you can struggle without falling, feeling of control

Researchers have found that time in nature is good for the brain. It boosts creativity, insight and problem solving.

For more tips and observations: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change-recovery-from-porn-addiction/rebooting-advice-observations-from-successful-rebooters/

To understand clearly how today’s Internet porn differs from sex or porn of the past, read the following articles in sequence: Porn, Novelty, and the Coolidge effect, Porn Then and Now: Welcome to Brain Training and Why Shouldn’t Johnny Watch Porn If He Likes?

Reference Book: Your brain on Porn

TIPS I FOUND ON CONFIGURING WEB PROTECTION

While it can help to install pornography filters, keep in mind that this does not address your triggers. It can, however, clue you on your rewards cycle, and give you some additional time/opportunities to mitigate the trigger. Porn won’t be less tempting now that it’s not a click away. But It gives you time to reorient yourself. Other activities seem a lot more appealing when I’m no longer subconsciously comparing them against that particular dopamine rush of porn.

The reasoning behind is When porn is available at a click, its looming presence can produce intense inner conflict. The stress from this inner conflict makes relapse more likely. On the other hand, when porn is not available, it gives that second thought moment and follow through the recovery process. The presence of nagging inner conflict is a sign that you are on the way to porn trap. That is the right time to make your adjustment and react.

People in recovery have fresh memories of their obsessions, and they must be on guard to dodge and block the cues, triggers, and temptations that face them daily.

Keep this in mind when walking through this experience, it is about you, and your mind should learn respectful of you and can come along to enjoy your time.

I don’t train my mind with a flexible setting; always the same control setting or distance. My mind (I) must know exactly how many distance it has before the risk of pulling me with power urge. I look for my controlling system (“my leash”) is not having suitability and ease to consider acting out.

https://www.doctoddlove.com/todd-love-blog/configuring-k9-for-mac-porn-filtering

You can also install K-9 on your iPhone, iPod touch, iPad.

Do the following to install K9 Web Protection Browser:

1. Go to the App Store and search for “K9”.

2. Install the K9 Web Protection Browser app.

3. Disable the built-in web browser.

Someone shares his experience:

, I’ve also set time restrictions so I cannot surf the internet after 9pm. It’s been great. No idle late night surfing. Less risk of stumbling on triggers. Less temptations to relapse. In the K9 admin page, “Time Restrictions” is second from the top on the left hand side. Once inside Time Restrictions, you can click “custom” to choose when internet access is on or blocked. It’s helped remind me keep off the computer after work and get to bed at a normal hour.

site members said:

If I have an urge to look at porn, I set SelfControl to 15 minutes and it blocks the Internet until the urge subsides. Or I set it so that the Internet is blocked the entire night so there is no way for me to go online if I get an urge to look or assuage the withdrawal-insomnia.

As for the cell phone I use a free app lock that locks the browser on my phone. I also set it to a password that I will never remember.

Cold Turkey is a productivity program that blocks sites for up to seven days using the free version. I found that opendns is too easy to access and change the settings to unblock, so I’ve set opendns to block all porn and nudity sites and then set cold turkey to block my access to opendns.

I’m also using cloudacl on my phone to block all porn sites on my phone and again, access to opendns.com because without it I can easily access opendns on my phone and unblock it that way. This of course is not bulletproof but should I feel an urge it means there’s several layers of blocking to get through, this means I have more time to stop and think about what I’m doing rather than just clicking the mouse button twice and having instant access to porn.

I have a system worked out for the weekend regarding my phone. I already use the SelfControl thing for my computer, and I basically lock myself out of my phone internet and email the password to a yahoo email address. Now I can’t get the password because yahoo isn’t whitelisted on SelfControl, which I turn on before I start to drink. The password is also basically 4 random digits that I can’t remember at all. It’s a little tricky and roundabout but it seems to be working fine.

One guy recommended this blocker (giving the password to his partner):

http://www.tueagles.com/anti-porn/

easiest way to prevent relapse: block it! Use K9(+k9safesearch) and OpenDNS like…

One the most effective tools to employ is an accountability partner. X3watch is a free accountability software program suggested by a few brave men who have had enough.

An increase in honesty and accountability is progress. You are moving forward when you are willing to be truly candid and accountable to a trusted friend, spouse, or pastor

http://selfcontrolapp.com/

On Android smartphones, you can use an app called TitaniumBackup which allows you to freeze browsers. You can also automate your phone with Tasker or Automate. With all of these options, you will be able to set a time when the Wi-Fi and mobile data settings will automatically turn off. You can also set up location specific blocks.

The one thing that truly worked to get free from porn, is to try to discipline yourself. Best porn blocker is you.

For unending journal of lessons from experience you can also go to: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=138995133&highlight=fap

For arranged view go to: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-accounts/rebooting-accounts-page-1/

For neuroscientific perspective look: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ybop-articles-on-porn-addiction-porn-induced-problems/effects-of-porn-on-the-user/porn-masturbation-and-mojo-a-neuroscience-perspective-2012/

For a list of benefits of quitting porn:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/miscellaneous-resources/interesting-articles/100-benefits-of-quitting-porn-addiction/

For Sleep suggestions from porn recoverees

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change-recovery-from-porn-addiction/♦solo-tools/sleep-suggestions-for-porn-recoverers/

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Free From Bad Habit

Before we begin:

NOW BACK TO THE MAIN TOPIC OF THE WEBSITE

Although every thing discussed in this blog is very important, I will annotate the ones that you should not forget with yellow highlighter like this.

I used different font and formatting. Don’t count it as negligence. It will ACTUALLY help your mind not to drift away wandering as you go through the text. I leave it the way it is, because what is important is your understanding not presentation.

Abbreviation Used in the self awareness table

DIRECTION TO USE THE TABLE

Let us start by sharing you this real story:

Whenever you got hit by an urge of watching porn, instead of fighting it You just have to understand AND accept your feelings and remember one word: Priority.

There is nothing wrong with your system, your intense desires. It is perfectly normal response of your system to such huge buffet of sex (actually pornography). BUT you are NOT CORRECT in channeling these especial needs in satisfying way because of the time and knowledge issues.

YOUR TO-DO LIST, YOUR SEARCH BAR

let me make this clear:

PORN IS NOT YOUR ACTUAL ENEMY, IT IS JUST A DISGUISED PHYSIOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL NEED. IMPULSIVENESS IS YOU REAL ENEMY.

I say this considering that in your right mind you will not choose to watch Porn and jerk off, rather you will choose to have a great time with your beautiful woman.

IDIOLIZING PORN (BY SAVING IT FOR YOUR PRIVATE PLACE/LIFE) IS THE WOREST THING YOU CAN DO.

The necessary measures for Stopping Porn

One who knows how to breath controls everything. WE WILL LOOK AT BREATHING THECNIQUE WE HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND.

List of Things to Consider:

BREATHING INSTRUCTION

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